Monday, May 24, 2010

Living with Loss

As I see it's been a few weeks since my last blog post I am realizing I need to state what has been occupying me.

Jenni Schaefer's beautiful Mother's Day letter brought me to a new level of understanding that I need to respect the fact that I am constantly grieving losses that eating disorders have brought to my life.

We still don't know if our daughter will ever be recovered. Millions of people are living with this type of uncertainty. On many levels my daughter has been taken from me. I have been told I have a lot in common with parents who have had their children abducted and don't know if they are alive or not. This realization has led me to spend some time doing this grieving I didn't know I needed to do.

Luckily I have a wonderful coaching colleague who specializes in the caregivers journey and helps people process grief. I am now in a much better state of mind and can allow creating to happen again. Thank you Rita Goldhammer of Pivotal Crossings for helping me to do this valuable work.

One of the things I've had to grieve and let go of is that what we experienced in our daughter's treatment is being called: Treatment Failure. It was both exciting and sad to learn more about the very promising Family Based Therapy approaches in talking with Laura Collins of F.E.A.S.T.

So I am done with the "What Ifs" and am excited to talk with and interview families who have found successful recovery via Family Based Therapy!

I would love to hear of your positive experiences of incorporating FBT into traditional treatment models.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Thank you Jenni Schaefer for this mother's day gift!

Happy Mother's Day to all who are, have been and who have mothers. This mother's day gift came to me via another mother's child and I am so happy to see it. Than you Jenni for helping all of us who love a child with an eating disorder to hear what we have so badly needed to hear.

IT'S NOT OUR FAULT. - Thank you Jenni for saying it so beautifully and gracefully, you have given an amazing gift to every mother who has had a child with an eating disorder. I believe your words will help to heal millions of mother's hearts.

I know I am not alone as a mother who was very clearly given many many messages that my daughter's life threatening illness was somehow a result of my parenting. Not only was I scared out of my mind that she would die, saddened beyond description at what this disease was taking from her and us but I was at the same time blamed.

What we all needed was help. Encouragement. Support. Tools. Kindness. Answers. Love. Instead what happened is now being called a "parentectomy" and that didn't help anyone.

Thank you Jenni for your beautiful letter, your gift to all of us mothers of children with eating disorders. In my world of believing that ANYTHING is POSSIBLE, I picture your letter in the family waiting rooms of every eating disorders clinic in the world. I see it in all of the curriculum materials that (will soon exist) to educate ALL healthcare providers so that they know that eating disorders are complex bio-psycho-social illnesses and that blaming the parents is an antiquated way of treating the family.

Moms out there, I would love to hear your stories of hearing words such as Jenni has shared with us and her mother.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Eating Disorders Parent/Family/Friends Support

Join us tomorrow for group coaching to assist you with your journey in caring for someone with an eating disorder.

Parent/Family Friend Support Group
$10/person or $15/couple
Every other Wednesday beginning April 7th
Dunn Bros. Freight House
201 3rd Avenue South
Minneapolis, MN 55401 (Next to the historic Milwaukee Road Depot) Phone: 612-692-8530
Call or email Becky to reserve a spot

Monday, May 3, 2010

Oprah and Eating Disorders

What are your thoughts about Oprah's 8 episode series that will document a group of patients as they undergo a 42 day eating disorder recovery program? Will it be done respectfully? Will they sensationalize the experience? Will you watch?

I am hopeful that this show as well as the E! eating-disorder mini series will bring a lot more attention to eating disorders and hopefully help with :

  • Reducing stigma
  • Increasing awareness about treatment for patients, families and health care providers
  • Improving diagnosis rates and referrals to treatment
  • Increase awareness of insurance issues and improve reimbursements
That's just for starters. Please add your wish lists. I could go on and on but want to hear what you hope for.

I would love to hear your thoughts.