tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35251529599731670492024-02-20T21:24:26.529-08:00Creating the Path to WellnessThis parent advocate's thoughts on claiming joy while loving someone with an eating disorder.Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.comBlogger111125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-82824329219409491242012-09-27T14:58:00.001-07:002012-09-27T14:58:08.985-07:00Hi faithful readers! A few months back I switched my blog to my new wordpress website at <a href="http://hopenetwork.info/?page_id=121">http://hopenetwork.info/?page_id=121</a>. I'd love for you to follow me there and comment away. I've got a wonderful intern who is helping me get posts up weekly!<br />
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Here is a screen shot of the page so you know you're in the right place:<br />
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THANK YOU! I look forward to seeing you there and hearing your thoughts.<br />
Becky Henry<br />
Hope Network, LLC<br />
Sept 26, 2012Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-9595565940561454582012-04-12T14:27:00.000-07:002012-04-12T14:27:15.377-07:00MN Eating Disorders SupportAn open invite to eating disorders advocates in Minnesota/Wisconsin from Melrose Institute:<br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Be our guest</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"> <b>on May 9<sup>th</sup></b> at the Be You fundraising event to benefit Park Nicollet Melrose Institute. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">On May 9 from 5:00 - 7:45 p.m., we will host an evening of inspiration and creativity. Learn how Melrose programs help more than 1,500 people each year who are struggling with food and body image issues build healthy lives, bodies and heal. The evening will showcase the creative arts and the healing process. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">A special part of the evening will be a performance of <i>“To Eat”</i> produced by Hippocrates Café, created by Jon Hallberg, MD. Through storytelling, poetry and song, we will explore our complicated relationships with food. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">This free event is made possible by the Park Nicollet Foundation. <b>Registration is required</b> either </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://pnfoundation.parknicollet.com/sslpage.aspx?pid=406" target="_blank"><strong><span style="color: #5f008f; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">online</span></strong></a></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"> or by calling <a href="tel:952-993-5023" target="_blank" value="+19529935023">952-993-5023</a>.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Participants will be invited to make a charitable gift (no minimum or maximum required) and contributions will benefit Melrose Institute’s art and wellness programs, education and outreach presentations to schools and community organizations, research and patient and family care programs. </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">The evening program is as follows:</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">5:00: Check-in, reception and program displays<br />
5:45: Program<br />
6:30: <i>“To Eat” </i>a special performance by Hippocrates Café<br />
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Park Nicollet Melrose Institute is located <b>at 3525 Monterey Drive in St. Louis Park, MN 55416</b>. There is free parking in our lot and ramp.</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"></span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Registration is required</span></b><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"> either </span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"><a href="https://pnfoundation.parknicollet.com/sslpage.aspx?pid=406" target="_blank"><strong><span style="color: #5f008f; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12pt;">online</span></strong></a></span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"> or by calling <a href="tel:952-993-5023" target="_blank" value="+19529935023">952-993-5023</a>.</span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
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</div><i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Struggling with food and body image issues can be challenging. Park Nicollet Melrose Institute is a specialty center that helps individuals heal from all types of eating problems. A national leader, Melrose Institute has been providing high-quality expertise and comprehensive personalized care for more than 25 years. </span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;"></span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">At Park Nicollet Foundation, we use philanthropy to enhance the patient and family experience, promote innovation and research, and respond to the health care needs of our community. </span></i>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-384434423069458622012-02-24T05:54:00.000-08:002012-02-24T05:54:14.961-08:00Anne-Sophie Reinhardt's blog series on Reasons For Recovery<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m collaborating with other writers in a blog series for the month of February. The theme is: Reasons For Recovery. Anne-Sophie Reinhardt at <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/" style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Fighting Anorexia</a> asked several of us advocates to blog about the topic. I'll be sharing mine today, February 24th 2012. </span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As most of you know I am the parent of someone who has fought an eating disorder for about 12 years now. I have not ever been in recovery myself so I speak from the perspective of a parent who has fought these horrific illnesses from the sidelines, the trenches and anywhere else I can put myself. </span></span></span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I'm on a mission to improve the lives of all impacted by these most deadly of all mental illnesses. One life at a time. I start with the family members who are walking around with their hearts ripped open from the pain they have observed in their loved ones who are being taken over by one of these monsters.</span></span></span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As part of that mission I am doing what I can to help raise funds for research. The </span></span></span></em><a href="http://www.aedweb.org/Get_Involved.htm">AED and Hope Network 1 Family $1 Drive for Eating Disorders Research</a> <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">idea came to me one morning while meditating. There are approximately 70 million people worldwide suffering from eating disorders. They all have at least one person who cares about them. The idea is that if each of those carers donates $1 to this fund then there will be millions for research scholarships. Here is the website http://www.aedweb.org/Get_Involved.htm when you click on the purple words </span><a href="http://www.aedweb.org/source/donate/" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">AED and Hope Network 1 Family $1 Drive for Eating Disorders Research </a><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">you will be taken to another page. On this page put your dollar amount in the box next to the words, "Scholarship Fund"and your donation will add to the others and soon we'll have some answers.</span><em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In that role of helping the caregivers or carers I often suggest that they make a "Top 10 List" of things that they enjoy doing, that bring them peace and joy. The purpose is to help them get their oxygen mask on so to speak. To get their cup filled up so that they are equipped to not only function well themselves but also to be an effective support to their loved one who is so sick.</span></span></span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So today I am sharing my "Top 10 Reasons for Recovery! "</span></span></span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1. There are people who care about you and want you to live.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2. You are special because you are alive.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">3. Life in recovery is amazing.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">4. It gets better.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">5. You have talents and gifts that are unique and the world is waiting for them.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">6. Your true self is waiting to be released.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">7. Your dog/bird/spider/lizard/cat/pet.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">8. Having FUN!</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">9. Enjoying life and food and yourself.</span></span></span></em><br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">10. It would make Becky happy to know that Ed lost and YOU won! Truly.</span></span></span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Thank you all for being recovery warriors and for spreading the word about the <a href="http://www.aedweb.org/Get_Involved.htm">1 Family/$1 Research Scholarship Fund</a> so we can have some answers and HOPE for a world without ED.</span></span></span></em><br />
Becky Henry, CPCC<br />
Hope Network, Inc.<br />
<b>Speaker, Coach and Award Winning Author of:</b> Just Tell Her to Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders<br />
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<a href="mailto:Becky@hopenetwork.info" target="_blank">Becky@hopenetwork.info</a><br />
952-451-5663<br />
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Websites:<br />
<a href="http://www.justtellhertostop.com/" target="_blank">www.JustTellHerToStop.com</a><br />
<a href="http://www.hopenetwork.info/" target="_blank">www.hopenetwork.info</a><br />
<a href="http://coachbeckyhenry.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Coachbeckyhenry.blogspot.com</a><br />
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Connect with me here:<br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/HopeNetworkBeck" target="_blank">twitter.com/HopeNetworkBeck</a><br />
<a href="http://linkedin.com/in/eatingdisordercoach" target="_blank">linkedin.com/in/eatingdisordercoach</a><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/HopeNetworkBeck" target="_blank">http://www.facebook.com/HopeNetworkBeck</a><em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span> </span></em>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-37476775779045615202012-02-22T18:09:00.000-08:002012-02-22T18:09:23.282-08:00Anne-Sophie's Pro-Recovery ProjectToday is Benjamin's day for the Pro-Recovery Project. Interesting that we have a male eating disorders blogger today since it's in the news today on NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/vp/46480643<br />
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<h2 class="date-header"><span>Wednesday, 22 February 2012</span></h2><a href="" name="6717382136626895728"></a> <h3 class="post-title entry-title"> <a href="http://pensiveben.blogspot.com/2012/02/it-is-not-mountain-we-conquer-but.html">It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves</a> </h3><div class="post-header"> </div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-6717382136626895728"> <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67Thzqfl3jVFx1FDHEec30jPF1LEDY4g6vdSVSQemZ2efC2hWwZLSQtymft2HSgXxtuXJ45sVFoJrSQEdSFkHP6D89ojo1cK9qUdkpeuNhRkLRpEp5hUxY5uFP2srck2teyd-oVctRbY/s1600/296819_10150895031105438_536485437_21328579_1236553288_n.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>There are many ‘eating styles’ and many of them can actually help us to stay healthy - but some are driven by an impulsive fear of becoming fat or bigger. These can damage our health in permeable ways and are called eating disorders. The most common disorders are Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating Disorder. <br />
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The causes for the development of an eating disorder are very complicated but research has suggested that both biological and psychological causes are prerequisites in the development of an eating disorder. <br />
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There are a broad array of eating disorder treatment options but regrettably most of that is contingent on where one lives and how much money someone has as many of the treatments can be quite costly. <br />
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I am the mind frame that the success of a treatment is very dependent firstly on one's mind frame. Some have suggested it is the path up to the road that is the journey to recovery and self discovery.<br />
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I will say that an eating disorder is never based on the symptoms. It is not really about calories, food, weight and body image...but it's really about self-worth, self-esteem, insecurity, control and the diffidence associated around one's identity. <br />
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Eating Disorders are worrying and tumultuous illnesses that sufferers and loved ones need to 'nip in the bud' at the first stage of discovery. <br />
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There are many reasons to recover from an eating disorder, but in this post I will focus on the aspect of psychological freedom.<br />
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Nothing beautiful has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was paramount to individual circumstance. This illness can plague, tarnish and jade the emotional faculty and instils within sufferers a ubiquitous obsession, infatuation and anxiety that can tarnish almost every element of one's being. I have spent numerous, mundane hours pensively exploring my mind, recognising my tendencies, frailties and strengths and recognising that despite all the perceived "benefits".... I wanted freedom. I wanted to be able to have the freedom to make an impartial action, to take an impartial, rational stance. I wanted to be able to sit down without that lingering impulse that is symptomatic of an eating disorder. Tranquillity, peace and serenity cannot be induced with a oscillating and unyielding eating disorder. There's no control in an eating disorder, but merely the illusion of such. The eating disorder controls us and it becomes so intertwined with our psyche that we start to identify with it and we start to believe that it is us. Although it is of course us, it should be differentiated from our normal, rational and healthy psychological state. <br />
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The road of recovery is a journey of self-discovery. We recognise our values, qualities, desires, strengths and weaknesses. We advance within ourselves, we question the pressures that the inane mass media invoke on us, we question those comments from others about our appearance and we ask ourselves why we deserve <b>freedom</b>. The most striking question that we ask is what it means to be happy and what founds the most impassioned, long lasting and healthy form of happiness?<br />
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Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you need belief, confidence and desire. Life is temporal, beautiful and amassed with opportunity, love and friendship. We only have one flight from the nest into the sunset, let us make our passage, our expedition and our reality as peaceful, free and content as possible. Be the person you want to be remembered as, defy pressures external and internal, love you, allow yourself to be loved and find oneself. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67Thzqfl3jVFx1FDHEec30jPF1LEDY4g6vdSVSQemZ2efC2hWwZLSQtymft2HSgXxtuXJ45sVFoJrSQEdSFkHP6D89ojo1cK9qUdkpeuNhRkLRpEp5hUxY5uFP2srck2teyd-oVctRbY/s1600/296819_10150895031105438_536485437_21328579_1236553288_n.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi67Thzqfl3jVFx1FDHEec30jPF1LEDY4g6vdSVSQemZ2efC2hWwZLSQtymft2HSgXxtuXJ45sVFoJrSQEdSFkHP6D89ojo1cK9qUdkpeuNhRkLRpEp5hUxY5uFP2srck2teyd-oVctRbY/s320/296819_10150895031105438_536485437_21328579_1236553288_n.jpg" width="320" /></a> </div></div><span class="post-author vcard"> Posted by <span class="fn"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16243202155693814605" rel="author" title="author profile"> Benjamin David </a> </span> </span> <span class="post-timestamp"> at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://pensiveben.blogspot.com/2012/02/it-is-not-mountain-we-conquer-but.html" rel="bookmark" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" title="2012-02-22T08:50:00Z">2/22/2012</abbr></a> </span>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-30703833931083422152012-02-22T08:04:00.000-08:002012-02-22T08:04:25.828-08:00Are Eating Disorders Addictions?Recently there was an insightful and respectful discussion about whether or not some eating disorders can be considered addictions on a closed group on Facebook for Therapists, MD's, Nutritionists and Coaches Specializing in Eating Disorders.<br />
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Dr. Cynthia Bulik posted the question in response to a query. She shared her wisdom and suggested "we find a new word that captures the essence and uniqueness of the power that food can have over us."<br />
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In response to the many folks who contributed to the discussion about behavioral addictions among other things, Jessica Setnick had a response that I feel is worth sharing here. It really says what I have thought all along but I didn't have the words for it. I copied this from her post on Facebook so I apologize for the tiny font and the paragraphs are mine to make it easier to read.<br />
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<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">Knowing that none of us have all the answers, I have the utmost respect for other points of view, but I think exactly the opposite. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
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<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">I think that there are subgroups of what are now communally referred to as "eating disorders" and that is why studying treatment approaches and even drug trials provide such equivocal results. I think that eating disorders are in most cases NOT their own kind of disorder, but the eating-related SYMPTOM of some underlying issue. I think that is exactly why the DSM does a terrible job of attempting to define eaitng disorders, because it only uses the symptoms as definitions, rather than the root cause, which could be genetic, hormonal (whether innate or environmentally affected after birth), neurochemical (again either innate or modified by experience), learned behavior, or something else. In other words, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
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<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">I believe that there ARE anxiety-related eating problems, depression-related eating problems, post-traumatic eating problems, purely biochemical eating problems (PANDAS being the most obvious), obsessive-compulsive eating problems, and addictive eating problems. And though they all "look" the same, as defined by starving, binge eating, purging, or other behaviors and thought patterns, they in fact stem from different biological/biochemical processes, and therefore respond to treatment quite differently. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">In this framework, I believe there are addiction-related eating problems. This sub-type may be more frequent in those who also have other addictions. Isn't it interesting that some individuals with eating disorders are addicted to other chemicals and behaviors and some are not at all? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">We know that different foods are digested and absorbed differently by different people, why do we continue to deny that they can be metabolized differently and reacted to in the brain differently? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">I too learned in dietitian school that you can't be addicted to something that you need every day, like oxygen, but I differ now in my thinking - I think that I AM addicted to oxygen! I think that I do need it every day, every minute in fact, and that when I don't have it, I feel terrible and would do absolutely anything to get it. Including things I would never do in other circumstances, just like someone who steals money to get drugs, or food to binge on. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">I think that grouping a number of people together who are all coughing, and studying their response to cough drops is going to lead to confusing results. Because some of those people might have TB, and the cough drop will have no effect. And some of those people might be choking on a chicken bone, and adding a cough drop will make them much worse. So when you group a bunch of patients together who are all vomiting after eating, and the intervention only works on some of them, isn't it possible that there are several sub-groups and the intervention is 100% successful on one of the sub-groups and 0% successful on others? And yet we continue to insist on these definitions based on outcome behaviors rather than on etiology.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"> I wish that the eating disorder community could look at things more like Irene Chatoor (sp?) with the feeding disorders. I think that is a much better model for us with much better potential to identify treatment or even a cure. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">The anxiety-related eating disorders perhaps will be treated effectively with anti-anxiety medications and CBT, while the depression-related eating disorders perhaps will be treated with anti-depressants and exercise, eg yoga. PANDAS will be treated with antibiotics and nutrition plus other possible therapies, and addictive eating will be treated with a 12-step model. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">Learned behavior eating disorders will be improved as our society becomes less obsesses and teaches better media literacy skills. I am speculating here. But it makes so much sense to me when I have seen patients who fit the exact same profile under our current nomenclature, and yet one is vomiting her food because after finding out she is pregnant after a gang rape she feels dirty ever time she eats, and the other is vomiting because she wants to make the cheerleading team. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">Two patients who are starving themselves, one because she feels guilty for being on drugs when her mother was dying of cancer and believes that if she eats then someone else in her family will die, and another who is petrified to be obese ever again after a painful childhood of abuse and bullying. We know these individuals don't need the same treatment, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 12px; text-align: left;">why do we insist that they have the same disease? If none of the current paradigms we have fit correctly, why not try a whole new one?</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Jessica Setnick, MS, RD, CSSD, CEDRD<u></u><u></u></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Author of The American Dietetic Association Pocket Guide to Eating Disorders<u></u><u></u></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">National Director of Training and Education for Ranch 2300 Collegiate Eating Disorders Treatment Program<u></u><u></u></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">6510 Abrams Road, Suite 302<u></u><u></u></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;">Dallas, Texas 75231<u></u><u></u></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="tel:214-503-7100" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank" value="+12145037100">214-503-7100</a><u></u><u></u></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="mailto:Jessica@UnderstandingNutrition.com" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">Jessica@<wbr></wbr>UnderstandingNutrition.com</span></a><u></u><u></u></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.917969); color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><b><span style="font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="http://www.understandingnutrition.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">www.UnderstandingNutrition.com</span></a></span></b></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-76760660443022950352012-02-18T07:21:00.000-08:002012-02-18T07:21:39.964-08:00Arielle's turn in Anne-Sophie's Pro-Recovery Project<div class="post hentry" style="min-height: 0px; position: relative;"><h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="color: #990072; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 26px; font-weight: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; position: relative;">Pro-Recovery Project: Arielle's Words</h3><div class="post-header" style="line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div class="post-header-line-1"></div></div><div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-6101763797507931053" style="line-height: 1.4; position: relative; width: 596px;"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" trbidi="on">Anyone who knows me, who has read my blog for the last 4+ years, and has watched my motivational speaking videos knows that I am PRO-RECOVERY. Being pro-recovery is part of my very essence. I'm happy and excited to be part of Anne-Sophie's <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/prorecovery/" style="color: #99267c; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Pro-Recovery Project</a>, which is showcasing one recovery blogger for each day in the month of February.<br />
<br />
Well, readers, today is my day. And it's your day too. The day is waiting for you. Don't make it wait too long.<br />
<br />
Anyone can tell you to recover. You have to choose recovery for yourself. But what's more - you GET to chose it for yourself. It's YOUR gift. It's YOUR reward. I always like to share a little something I call Arielle's Mantra:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Recovery is possible.</b></div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not a guarantee. It's a possibility.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not simple. It is difficult and sometimes seems impossible.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not a one-step process. It's a multi-step process complete with twists and turns and bending roads...and roads you didn't even know were there.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not the same for everyone.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not always a happy process. It's not always a sad process.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It IS empowering.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not about pleasing other people. It is not about them.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's about YOU.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not about perfection. It IS about emotion. It IS about honesty. It IS about self-discovery and self-affirmation.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not about what you don't have. It's about using what you've got.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not about hiding. It's about finding and displaying.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not a quick-fix. It's a lifelong plan set into motion by truth and nurturing and self-love.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It's not about external factors or environment. It IS about what's within.</div><div style="text-align: center;">It is not crazy. It IS real.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><b>Recovery is possible.</b></div><div style="text-align: center;"></div><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">This mantra has its own tab on the top of my site. It deserves its own tab, because this right here is a mantra to repeat - over and over again. It's not only my mantra for you, it's my message to you.</span></div><div></div><div>When it comes to eating disorder recovery, there are many different kinds of people. There are those who believe in full recovery, those who believe in full recovery – but not for themselves, and those who do not believe in it at all. I think full recovery is possible for everyone. Will it happen for everyone? No. But is it possible? Yes. You get to choose to take the steps to do it. To put your plans and goals and hopes and dreams into action. The dream of New Life FREE of an eating disorder is an excellent, worthy dream that can become a reality.<span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div>There are a lot of factors that influence a person’s ability to recover, but real recovery from an eating disorder happens, and it happens every day. It’s not a matter of beating the odds, but of beating the eating disorder.<br />
<br />
When influential folks say that full recovery from an eating disorder is unlikely, I get angry. When they imply that full recovery will happen to one in a million (or some equally incomprehensible number), I get upset. When they focus on all the people who have NOT recovered instead of those who have, I get emotional.<br />
<br />
It’s difficult to promote recovery to those struggling with eating disorders when they are constantly being told that the odds are against them. Why bother trying at all? If you are already deemed to be (and doomed to be) a statistic from the start, what’s the point in paying money for treatment/care/counseling or getting support from friends/family/services? Isn’t it all a waste?<br />
<br />
The short answer is: NO. Not only is recovery completely possible, it’s also worth every effort. Whether you’re involved with a whole treatment team, simply seeing one therapist, using an alternative support system, or going it alone – recovery is possible, real, and wonderful.<br />
<br />
I know this, because I’m a recovered individual myself. It wasn’t always an easy path. I worked hard, used support, created support I didn’t already have, and kept climbing.<br />
<br />
Today, I’m happy and healthy in body and mind. I've been fully recovered for some years now. I live my every day, a woman who is transformed from the girl she used to be. I think things start to disappear one by one as we recover. I think the more obvious pieces go first. We get to a healthy weight (whatever that is for us and our respective disorders). We let go of behaviors. We stop berating ourselves. We stop looking for perfection. We stop seeing perfection where it doesn't exist. We let go of pain. We let go of the past. We slowly let go of the thoughts, a day at a time, until we realize one day (like I did) that they're not there. They don't accompany me. They don't hide out in my mind waiting to come out if the opportunity presents itself. Call me “fat,” call me “ugly,” call me “stupid,” tell me I "shouldn't be eating all the food" that's on my plate... and I'll still be serene and confident in myself, in my recovery, in my body and my way of life. The change has taken place. I'm okay now. It's a beautiful reality.<br />
<br />
I can't promise you that during some terrible, sad, or scary time in my life I won’t for a split second remember how I <i>used</i> to cope. But I can promise you this: I'm done with my eating disorder and I'm done with the thoughts, and if one ever does re-appear in my head, it'll be gone and I'll be on my feet no matter what life throws at me, because I've found the secret. I've learned to stand.</div><div></div><div><span style="font-size: x-small;">There have been a few times I've been asked, <i>what are your top reasons in favor of recovery?</i> Or <i>is it worth it?</i> Or more often, <i>how do you know you're recovered? </i></span><b></b></div><div><br />
And this is the answer I always give:<br />
<br />
- Because my life doesn't revolve around food, exercise, feelings of hunger, my own image in the mirror, the way my clothes fit, what people say to me regarding appearance or success/failure.<br />
<br />
-Because I actually have a life.<br />
<br />
-Because when I wake up in the morning I am content, not filled with despair.<br />
<br />
-Because I don't have to work at it. It is now natural.<br />
<br />
-Because I can help others without being triggered by them.<br />
<br />
-Because I live by what I’m writing here.<br />
<br />
-Because I like my body.<br />
<br />
-Because I even, most of the time, LOVE my body.<br />
<br />
-Because I am at peace with issues of my adolescence.<br />
<br />
-Because I can eat without over-thinking.<br />
<br />
-Because I don't binge or purge or starve myself.<br />
<br />
-Because I don't even WANT to binge, purge, or starve myself.<br />
<br />
-Because I don't care what the number on a scale says and it used to incredibly define me.<br />
<br />
-Because I am a healthy weight.<br />
<br />
-Because I appreciate myself instead of hate myself.<br />
<br />
-Because I feel free.<br />
<br />
I am here in the moment and not afraid to eat, look, live, love. And you can do it too.<br />
<br />
The length of time isn't what's important. It can take 3 years or 30 years. The goal is to get to the point where you can say, “I'm free” and mean it. Don't give yourself a deadline. Don't beat yourself up for slip-ups. Just. keep. trying.<br />
<br />
Understand my main point:<i> being "recovered" isn't about always being happy 100% of the time—it's about knowing what to do when you're not.</i><br />
<br />
No matter how many cons there are to your dilemma, one big pro outweighs them all: you getting better, you feeling better, you learning to live life again.<br />
<br />
Put more faith in yourself than in your eating disorder. Don’t underestimate your power to move forward and stay there. It all starts with you.</div><div></div><div>(For more inspiring words and encouragement in the recovery department, visit <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/" style="color: #99267c; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Fighting Anorexia</a> - and remember, once February comes to a close, <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/" style="color: #99267c; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Fighting Anorexia</a> will be publishing links to every blogger who participated in the Pro-Recovery Project!)</div><div><br />
</div><div>Oh, and one more thing - just a friendly reminder:</div></div><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/phfic5otbfA?rel=0" width="420"></iframe></div><div style="clear: both;"></div></div><div class="post-footer" style="line-height: 1.6; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 1.5em;"><div class="post-footer-line post-footer-line-1"><span class="post-author vcard" style="margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 1em;">Posted by <span class="fn"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05087215272280856919" rel="author" style="color: #99267c; text-decoration: none;" title="author profile">Arielle Bair (Becker) </a></span></span><span class="post-timestamp" style="margin-left: -1em; margin-right: 1em;">at <a class="timestamp-link" href="http://tearstowords.blogspot.com/2012/02/pro-recovery-project-arielles-words.html" rel="bookmark" style="color: #99267c; text-decoration: none;" title="permanent link"><abbr class="published" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; 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</div><div class="post-footer-line post-footer-line-3"></div></div></div><div class="comments" id="comments" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 2em; min-height: 0px; position: relative;"><a href="" name="comments" style="background-color: #dfccf4; color: #353535; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"></a><span style="background-color: #dfccf4; color: #353535; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"></span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-16544819383222312662012-02-16T06:37:00.000-08:002012-02-16T06:37:30.520-08:00Reasons For Recovery - Anne-Sophie Reinhardt's blog<h3><span style="color: #ff505d;">Part of the blog series by different contributors - today is from Anne-Sophie Reinhardt who started this blog series. </span></h3><h3><span style="color: #ff505d;">Why should you even care to recover?</span></h3>When the first thoughts of <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/taking-the-first-and-most-important-step/" title="Taking the first and most important step">recovery</a> started to occupy my mind back in late fall 2010, this questions was constantly going through my head. I still saw the life I led as too good to give up.<br />
Why should I throw everything away, leave my <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/anorexiaandpregnancy/" title="The Agony of Facing Life without bearing a Child">husband</a> for months and fight against this mysterious beast inside? Why should I give up a body that was so unnoticeable and therefor tolerable in order to gain weight and loathe myself even more?<br />
Why should I change anything if life would always be sad and bleak? I could just go on like this and pretend that I am fine. I was still functioning and I would certainly know when to stop.<br />
<h3>Eating disorders might kill others, but my anorexia would never kill me.</h3>Knowing what I know now, I am terrified by these deceptive thoughts that are so horribly dangerous. Had I continued a few months longer on this path of self-destruction, I would have lost my life. I was in a state of confusion, sadness, emptiness and carelessness. My <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/perception/" title="Perception">perception</a> of reality was completely distorted.<br />
<span style="color: #ff505d;"><strong>I am glad I woke up just enough to start the process of healing before a disaster might have occurred.</strong></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ILOVELIFE.jpg"><img alt="" class="aligncenter wp-image-1272" height="458" src="http://fightinganorexia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ILOVELIFE-1024x764.jpg" title="ILOVELIFE" width="614" /></a></div>When you recover, you <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/closing-chapters-no-1/" title="Closing Chapters No. 1">give up a lot of things</a>. You feel like you lose your life, everything you knew or thought you knew about yourself. But the truth is, you don’t.<br />
You leave behind all the negativity that has surrounded you for so many years, in my case more than a decade. You give up<a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/closing-chapters-no-2/" title="Closing Chapters No. 2"> destructive patterns</a> and life-threatening behaviors and you transform yourself in ways you could have never imagined before.<br />
<span style="color: #495e86;"><strong>I know that when you are in the midst of your eating disorder, you feel like nothing makes sense, life is just a series of horrible days, everything seems grey, bleak and hollow. You are, to put it mildly, in hell.</strong></span><br />
It is hard to imagine anything other than this. It is almost impossible to believe that life can be colorful, that feelings don’t have to hurt, that being healthy is not an unachievable goal, reserved for other, luckier people.<br />
When friends, therapists or nutritionists tell you that your life can turn around, they lie, right? When they want to help you, they actually just want to hurt you. When they share their concern, they just want to make you feel inferior. When they tell you you need to gain weight in order to survive, they only want to fatten you like an animal.<br />
<strong><span style="color: #ff505d;">Oh, how I know these thoughts, and how wrong they are. So utterly, utterly wrong. </span></strong><br />
I wish I had learned sooner that the people around me truly loved me and that they were incredibly scared of this disease that had captured me. I wish I could have cared. I wish I could have seen how rich life could be and how precious every moment is. I wish I could have opened my eyes and my heart to all the beauty surrounding me.<br />
<h3>But now, one year into recovery, I have lifted my point of view and what I see is bombastic.</h3>Today I see what everybody around me had been talking about for so long. <strong><span style="color: #ff505d;">I feel the vibrant lust for life that others experience and I am, for the first time ever, thrilled and grateful to be alive. </span></strong><br />
Working on myself and letting go off my eating disorder has completely changed every single aspect of my existence.<br />
I feel the hope and the opportunity that each day embodies. I wake up full of energy, excited about the possibilities of the day. I am no longer the bundle of weakness I was a year ago, but full of energy and drive.<br />
I can be spontaneous and make plans without them interfering with my ridiculous workout routine. I am able to drink a cup of my beloved Mocha at Starbucks without my eating disorder reprimanding me or calculating how long I’d have to slave away at the gym in order to burn the calories I consumed.<br />
I am able to enjoy simply sitting on the couch with my husband, cuddling up to him while watching a movie. I love talking to a friend without having a guilty conscience that I am not exercising.<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: #495e86;">I appreciate my husband giving me a delicious chocolate mini cake for <a href="http://myintercontinentallife.com/the-power-of-love/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #495e86;">Valentine’s Day </span></a>without freaking out about the calories and I enjoy every single bite while eating it. </span></strong></div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/IMG_0191-copy.jpg"><img alt="" class="wp-image-1273 aligncenter" height="562" src="http://fightinganorexia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/IMG_0191-copy-1024x936.jpg" title="IMG_0191 copy" width="614" /></a></div><span style="color: #ff505d;"><strong>I learned that I am not just a hollow shell, but I have potential and I have so much love to give. </strong></span><br />
I can be creative again using the space in my mind that used to be taken up by my eating disorder. I started to crawl out of my shell and actually learn to have self-confidence. I started to <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/learning-to-believe-in-myself/" target="_blank" title="Learning to Believe in Myself">believe in myself </a>and in the work I do and therefor have been more efficient and productive than ever before. I can even say that I am proud of myself without feeling ashamed.<br />
I feel deeply, intimately and madly in love with myself and my <a href="http://myintercontinentallife.com/ultimateguide/">body</a>; a body with curves, imperfections and flaws, but so unique and forever mine. By learning to love the person that I am, I was also able to begin to love my husband on an infinitely deeper level. I am now a much better wife and lover.<br />
I now notice the beauty in so many things that used to mean nothing to me. My taste buds have been in a state of ecstasy in the last year because of all the different, new kinds of food <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/012-fighting-anorexia-cooking-to-fight-anorexia/" title="012 Fighting Anorexia – Cooking to Fight Anorexia">they were allowed to experience</a>.<br />
I learned to express anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, agony or even joy without binging and purging. I don’t feel bad about feeling good about myself. I am no longer paralyzed by <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/walking-on-the-edge/" target="_blank" title="Walking on the Edge">fear</a>. I learned to confront it and practiced kicking it in the butt by doing it over and over again.<br />
Problems don’t seem to be unresolvable anymore, they simply are challenges that can be mastered and that provide me with a chance to grow as a person.<br />
Recovery teaches you many things, not only the art of eating regularly. When you recover, you learn life-changing skills that help you in all aspects of your life.<br />
<h3><span style="color: #ff505d;">But the most important thing you learn when you heal is to take care of yourself and to rescue yourself from a fate threatening to take your life. </span></h3><h4><span style="color: #ff505d;"><strong>Today, my life is anything but hellish and this can be true for you too. And that is exactly why you should care to recover. </strong></span></h4>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-17297755770693894512012-02-09T18:28:00.000-08:002012-02-09T18:28:32.871-08:00Reasons For Recovery<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> I’m collaborating with other writers in a blog series for the month of February. The theme is: Reasons For Recovery. Anne-Sophie Reinhardt at <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/" style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Fighting Anorexia</a> asked several of us advocates to blog about the topic. I'll be sharing mine on Feb 24th. In the meantime I'm trying to post all of the other blog posts on Reasons For Recovery.</span></em><br />
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<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Matt Wetsel blogs on ...Until Eating Disorders Are No More https://arenomore.wordpress.com/</span></em><br />
<div style="background-color: white; border-width: 0px; line-height: 23px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><i><b>Matt's Reasons For Recovery</b>:</i></span></div></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Today it’s my turn to talk about reasons for recovery! In case you didn’t know, I’m collaborating with some other writers in a blog series for the entire month of February. The theme is simple enough: reasons to recover. Special shout-out to Anne-Sophie over at <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/" style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Fighting Anorexia</a> for starting the conversation that turned into this little project and for doing most of the organizing.</span></em></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Beyond the guilt, shame, and self-hatred of any eating disorder is a person who is entirely capable and worthy of giving and receiving love, and fully capable of recovery. The eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise, and will do anything it can to stick around. It poses as your best friend, but in truth, it wants to kill you. In fact, eating disorders result in more deaths than any other mental health condition due to the physical effects they have on the body. Usually when someone enters recovery, there are a myriad of excuses, barriers, and reasons (some real, some exaggerated, some fabricated) which stand in their way. Let’s say someone had to go into a sixty day inpatient treatment program, how do you think that someone would react to such news? Most people do not respond with enthusiasm.</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span id="more-548" style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span>Whatever things came to mind about taking sixty days off of life to go inpatient, they’re probably many of the same things that others would think and say. Maybe it’s just working a support group into the schedule or going to therapy. What I have heard the most from others who are struggling in recovery is “I can’t” followed by a long list of obligations other than recovery. Things like work, school, or relationships are often at the top of the list. None of these reasons, though, address the most important factor:</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: bold; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">An eating disorder left untreated has the potential to kill you.</span></strong></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You cannot work a job, go to school, pursue a career, or have friendships or relationships if you are dead. No amount of excuses or barriers changes this fact. When treatment is being considered and I hear someone say, “I can’t!” I want to shout back “Not only <em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">can </em>you but you <em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">have</em> to!” Setting aside barriers and excuses, recovery comes down to a simple choice: life or death. I don’t know anyone who can honestly say that their eating disorder has ever brought them happiness. If you are reading this and currently suffering from an eating disorder, ask yourself – how does your eating disorder make you feel? Does it bring you legitimate happiness? On the contrary, the responses I’ve gotten from others are that it has brought them nothing but misery and often has ruined their life. My experience was no different. So, when considering the pros and cons of recovery, it’s a matter of choosing between continuing to be miserable and possibly die, or to have a chance at being happy and living.</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">That was the turning point for me, anyway. The push to do all the work necessary to recover was that anorexia was turning me into the kind of person I didn’t want to be. I was hurting friendships and relationships with excuses and lies. My grades were falling. So much of my time and energy was devoted to losing weight that I didn’t have much time for anything else, and all I had to show for it was a sunken face and an aching pain in the muscles around my heart. The choice to recover was the choice to start living my life again, for me.</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">While the choice may be easy, however, carrying it out can be much harder. Once again, we encounter, “I can’t!” Early in recovery, it feels impossible to eat normally without giving into whatever disordered eating behavior one has been engaging in. No matter how difficult something may seem, though, it’s never<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">impossible</em>. That word is reserved for truly unachievable things. For example, I feel comfortable saying that it’s <em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">impossible</em> for me to fly under my own power – I’m not a superhero. By comparison, eating three meals a day without purging them doesn’t seem quite so difficult.</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A lot of people with eating disorders struggle with negative self-talk. I think this is one of the most important things one can do: to counter it with a correction and remind oneself of what’s true. The eating disorder makes you say, “I can’t do this! It’s impossible!” but we count that with, “I’m having trouble doing this. It’s very hard for me, but it is not impossible.”</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s almost like learning to speak a new language – the language of recovery. The eating disorder inserts its own voice into your mind and thoughts, masquerading them as one’s own. It has a very limited vocabulary, consisting of words and phrases to make one feel bad about themselves. You could almost say we get tricked into speaking this language, engaging in negative self-talk and focusing on arbitrary numbers like weight or caloric information instead of how we <em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">feel</em>. The language of recovery, though, has no room for self-deprecation, negative self-talk, or the futile effort of measuring self-worth with a scale.</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And it’s a language completely worth learning! I consistently find myself applying the things I learned in recovery to other parts of my life. The way I relate to people, the way I respond when others act unskillfully and feelings get hurt, and in my ability to challenge myself to do things while recognizing my own limitations.</span></div><div style="border-width: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s never too early to start recovery. Life is too short to spend another day, hour, or minute at war with your body, risking your health and possibly your life.</span></div><em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></em>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-20673235030295084712012-02-09T18:19:00.000-08:002012-02-09T18:19:45.817-08:00Reasons For Recovery<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> I’m collaborating with some other writers in a blog series for the month of February. The theme is: Reasons For Recovery. Anne-Sophie over at <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/" style="border-width: 0px; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Fighting Anorexia</a> asked several of us advocates to blog about the topic. I'll be sharing mine on Feb 24th. In the meantime I'm trying to post all of the other blog posts on Reasons For Recovery.</span></em><br />
<br />
<em style="border-width: 0px; margin: 0px; outline-width: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The first is from </span></em><span style="font-family: inherit;">Abby Cooper who blogs at <a href="http://theabbycooper.tumblr.com/post/16870144619/something-you-get-when-you-recover-from-your-eating">"A Piece of Me"</a> </span><br />
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<div class="date"> <h4>February 1, 2012</h4><hr class="blkd" /> </div><h2>Something You Get When You Recover From Your Eating Disorder That You Didn’t Even Know You Wanted</h2>Feelings.<br />
When I was early in my recovery, feeling my own feelings wasn’t easy-or even desirable. I had internalized a false message that my natural sensitivities made me weak, and therefore they were less worthy. I felt like who I was was not acceptable. Because of beliefs like these, my eating disorder had developed to an intensity that I was no longer receptive to the world like I had been before.<br />
I had gotten to the point in my disorder that before I even could recognize a specific emotion, I had an urge to use my eating disorder behaviors. I didn’t think I was emotional anymore. Those ED urges replaced “excited,” “sad,” “longing,” “desire,” “comfort” and left me with only my eating disorder. The eating disorder felt preferable-it felt less painful. I was less of a mess, less sappy, less all over the place. Of course my life was a big mess in a whole different way, but: I was more numb. It felt easier.<br />
I never intended to numb myself out to my entire life, however. Recognizing, feeling, and valuing your feelings is both a necessary step in recovery and a wonderful part of living. One thing I’ve learned to appreciate in recovery, that I would have never appreciated if I had never had an eating disorder is this:<br />
<strong>You can’t feel the best feelings without allowing yourself to feel and tolerate the most painful and uncomfortable ones.</strong><br />
Yes, it’s true that the eating disorder behaviors cushion the intensity of the feelings you don’t want. But they also mute the ones you do. It strips you of your vitality and humanity. You can’t pick which ones you can experience fully. So you have to let go and let them all in. This seems scary to someone with an eating disorder. But the way to do it is to ease in: notice, allow, don’t judge. You’ll notice the more obvious feelings first, and the more practice you get, the finer ones will slip through. It becomes a game of sorts-“I don’t know what I’m feeling” turns into “I’m sleepy!” or “I’m hungry!” or “I’m hyper!” or “I’m lonely” or “I need to create something.” You get better at feeling.<br />
And it’s awesome.<br />
Yesterday, I woke up lonely. I felt a bit mopey and not interested in any of my usual solitary activities, like reading or drawing or goofing around on my piano. I felt sad. And I didn’t do anything to STOP that feeling. I allowed myself to feel sad. I called my brother, we talked about it, and then we joked around a bit. The feeling didn’t stop me from having a nice moment with him. Then, around mid afternoon, a friend called and invited me over. ELATED! was the next feeling I felt. I felt it just as much as I had felt lonely. I decided to get outside before I went over to her house to boost my mood, and move around a bit. I really FELT the sunshine and the brisk air, and I really FELT my body move as I got some movement in. When I drove to my friend’s house, I played music, and really FELT that music, and let it put me in a better mood. And when I arrived at my friend’s house, we had an awesome time just hanging out. I drove home that night feeling connected, loved, grateful, and warm.<br />
I got all of those things in one day. And it was perfect.<br />
I could have never had that day if I still used my eating disorder.<br />
So, am I sensitive?<br />
Yes.<br />
Do I feel a lot of things?<br />
Yes.<br />
More so than other people?<br />
Probably.<br />
Is that weakness?<br />
No.<br />
It’s <strong>strength</strong>, because I know what I had to work through to be able to get here and accept and embrace this part of myself. Those feelings allow me to be in relationship and connect to life.<br />
Not only is connectivity to your feelings possibly the biggest reason to recover, it’s one of the biggest and best reasons to be alive.<br />
<div> <a href="http://fightinganorexia.com/">fightinganorexia.com</a></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-63013471050829632442012-01-31T15:59:00.000-08:002012-01-31T15:59:37.137-08:00Love the Life You Lead<div class="MsoNormal">Coach Melinda Abrams asked me to be a part of the Love the Life You Lead 2012 blog series. </div><div class="MsoNormal">You can find the Facebook page at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20https://www.facebook.com/melinda.abrams#%21/pages/Love-the-Life-You-Lead-2012-Melinda-Abrams/358938237454872%20%20">Love The Life You Lead Facebook Page</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="fsm">14 Days. 11 Expert Coaches. Loving the life you lead. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Becky Henry/ Theme: Forgiveness</div><div class="MsoNormal">Question: How do I forgive myself for not being able to help my daughter recover from an eating disorder? What is the VALUE in forgiving myself?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Forgiveness is an act of love—towards ourselves. While it may seem a selfish endeavor it is actually a generous gift, to our own life, peace, joy, happiness and those around us. There is great value in spending the time asking powerful questions, asking for help, admitting we felt powerless, and taking the steps to learn how to forgive.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Loving someone who is seriously ill and not being able to "save" or "fix" them can lead to a host of negative emotions. It can lead us to become a lifetime "victim" who no longer loves life and embraces fun. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Seeing that we don't have that kind of power can actually be freeing and can give us the wings we need to fly away from the burden of being a victim. Then and only then, we can live a joyful live despite our history. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Becky Henry</div><div class="MsoNormal">Founder and President, Hope Network, LLC</div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-87865779473957731232012-01-22T20:01:00.000-08:002012-01-22T20:01:51.794-08:00Jessica Setnick Blog Interview<div><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: 16px; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is the second in my blog interview series. This time it is Jessica Setnick, MS, RD/LD, CSSD who was a guest professional on one of our tele-classes in November.</span></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span style="font-size: 16px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></span></div><div><b><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu5qoy4BWQ-OEjBMJHxDCUPSP7AqOcoLjqR2bL7Lx8ZZtNKZAdzTaPMyltUE2yb6OkH2iW4bnGmwfpj2arBLanExjjZY8CskIkOvI9xflKZTdvCCkbavJhSc0DzR5BTEPlqGm4kcWeFIQ/s1600/JSetnick.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiu5qoy4BWQ-OEjBMJHxDCUPSP7AqOcoLjqR2bL7Lx8ZZtNKZAdzTaPMyltUE2yb6OkH2iW4bnGmwfpj2arBLanExjjZY8CskIkOvI9xflKZTdvCCkbavJhSc0DzR5BTEPlqGm4kcWeFIQ/s320/JSetnick.jpeg" width="228" /></a></div><div><b id="internal-source-marker_0.9446107228286564"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jessica Setnick Blog Interview </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><ol><li style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 13px; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Your website, </span><a href="http://www.understandingnutrition.com/"><span style="color: blue; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">http://www.understandingnutrition.com/</span></a><span style="font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> shows your passion for helping folks with eating disorders. Where does this passion come from?</span></li>
</ol><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It is a combination of wanting to help others and wanting to understand the human condition in some way that would help me understand myself. I learn so much from my patients, and the continuing education that I have pursued has been as applicable to myself as it is to my work. The other aspect is that I feel that I have been given a gift, a gift that I may not have identified on my own, but that the incidents of my life brought to my attention. I am grateful to have found the intersection of what I like to do, that I am good at, that helps people, that I can do for a living. It is my mission and I wouldn’t feel complete if I didn’t act on it. Over time my mission has evolved into helping other professionals to help solve eating disorders, and most recently into helping build a treatment center, Ranch 2300, to do the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><ol start="2"><li style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 13px; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What is your philosophy on effective eating disorders treatment?</span></li>
</ol><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" />Ah, my philosophy. My philosophy on effective treatment starts with my philosophy on eating disorders themselves. I believe that the nomenclature we use for eating disorders stinks. I think it was developed to facilitate research and description but it does not describe the human experience. So we are not treating individuals with eating disorders as well as we could be because the research is based on artificial distinctions. Anyone who is familiar with the field realizes that two people with “anorexia” might have very different situations – different causes, different skill deficits, different needs – but yet we continue to look for the one “best” treatment. There might be two people whose eating disorders look very different, but they have a lot in common. The treatment must be individualized to what each person needs. But I think that if we did a better job of describing eating disorders, such as “Depression-related eating disorders” and “Anxiety Spectrum Eating Disorders” and “Post-traumatic eating disorders” instead of the way we do now, we could also do a better job of recommending treatments rather than the trial-and-error approach. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The most important factor in treatment that lasts is recovery protection, ie the systems and skills that someone needs in order to thrive outside of a treatment setting. That has been the most fun part of designing Ranch 2300 – thinking of all the skills that someone needs to “make it” in recovery, and figuring out ways to teach those skills in the safe environment of treatment.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><ol start="3"><li style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 13px; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What is your opinion on full recovery?</span></li>
</ol><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I prefer to use the word “remission,” since it seems to fit the paradigm of eating disorders better than recovery. I feel recovery can begin the very day someone realizes their eating disorder is killing them and they want to change, but that is no guarantee of a change in the parameters we tend to measure. On the other hand, an individual may be weight-restored and seem to be “in recovery” while internally they are not recovered at all. </span></div><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Remission indicates that while bodies heal faster than minds, both the body and mind have recovered to the point that eating disorders stay in the thought stage only and do not transmit into behaviors that are problematic. In other words, I believe that I am in remission because when I have eating disorder thoughts, I am able to manage them before they lead to behaviors, and on occasion under extreme duress when I have an eating disorder behavior, it is no more severe nor lasting than the average American. It does not lead to guilt or shame, or a repetitive cycle, and I use it as a clue that life is not in balance and a cue to re-evaluate my situation. </span></div><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My opinion on Remission is that it takes up to 7 years of compliance with treatment from the day an individual with an eating disorder enters treatment to advance to the stage of Remission, where the eating disorder is genuinely and for all practical purposes “in the past.”</span></div><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><ol start="4"><li style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 13px; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How have people used your boot camp to treat their eating disorder?</span></li>
</ol><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 36pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Well I did not intend it for that purpose, it is a training program for professionals treating eating disorders. But after some of the workshops, professionals who attended would come forward and tell me that after attending the weekend they recognized their own eating disorder, or recognized that it was no longer congruent with their lives, and they asked me to help them find treatment in their area.</span></div><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><ol start="5"><li style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 13px; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-size: 16px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What do you tell people who care about someone with an eating disorder to say to encourage their loved one to seek treatment?</span></li>
</ol><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I care about you is a good start. I care about you and I would like to help you find treatment is even better. I care about you and I have made an appointment with a counselor to talk about how hard it is to watch someone I love hurt themself is the best way of all. Because then you are not only expressing yourself, expressing how deeply this is important to you, and how you are willing to stick by this person “in sickness and in health,” but you are also role-modeling self-care and reaching out for help, two things that everyone with an eating disorder needs to see more of. </span></b></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-20156188184295037742012-01-18T18:12:00.000-08:002012-01-18T18:12:45.090-08:00Women over 50 and body image<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><style>
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</style> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Given that I am a proponent of the Health At Every Size (HAES)- size acceptance model, I was intrigued when I spoke with Thea Sheldon about women over 50 and their long and too often rugged relationships with their bodies.<span> </span>I had recently written an article about women over 50 with eating disorders and we got talking about her work in helping women be happy with their bodies.<span> </span>Wow, someone who cares about women over 50 and how we feel about these bodies that look so different from when we were younger!<span> </span>I decided to do a blog interview with her to share her wisdom with you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Thea started noticing when walking up a few stairs to her office she would be out of breath by the top.<span> </span>All of her medical tests were fine.<span> </span>Instead of prescribing fun movement or activity her doctor said she needed to lose about 30 pounds.<span> </span>Thea hadn’t heard of HAES but she knew she wanted to be less winded and be able to do more fun physical activities—regardless of her size.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Thea began focusing not on dieting but on her health and reclaiming what brought her joy.<span> </span>In the process of adding fun movement Thea’s body did shed some weight. More importantly she gained peace with her body as well as newfound fun and freedom in her life. As a coach she developed programs helping other women to find the peace with their bodies that she had found.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Regular readers of my blog know that I do not promote losing weight – only gaining health.<span> </span>Some people when they start making different health choices will gain weight, some will lose and some will stay the same.<span> </span>Even though Thea has the words, “weight loss” in her materials I am sharing what she does because I see her helping women to “create a long-term, sustainable change in your relationship with your body.”<span> </span>And when we love ourselves and our bodies that is when we can regain health.<span> </span>I hope my HAES colleagues and fellow eating disorders advocates understand that she is using those words in her marketing because that is what women initially think they want.<span> </span>Thea helps them find something so much better.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcmsYphmxn_RMcG4KVz1bBqfW98zMj5E5gkaMORs4Z0fLpw0rZ5zqMAsmAg7v5QieSY1lm5QB3paNTLDqPrpA8tbqh-lj3ci4JaJXvxzzDFBi7BrqCipx3M2hCulLNA4RrvGvgX26q8tQ/s1600/Thea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcmsYphmxn_RMcG4KVz1bBqfW98zMj5E5gkaMORs4Z0fLpw0rZ5zqMAsmAg7v5QieSY1lm5QB3paNTLDqPrpA8tbqh-lj3ci4JaJXvxzzDFBi7BrqCipx3M2hCulLNA4RrvGvgX26q8tQ/s320/Thea.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Here is my interview with Thea: </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>What shifted recently in how you treat your body?</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Now I am better with boundaries in relationships with people and in my relationship with food.<span> </span>I am able to draw boundaries with food and ask for what I really want, both in planning a menu and making choices in a restaurant.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>What has given you the ability to set these boundaries with food?</b></span></div><ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">Knowing much more clearly what I want.<span> </span>Health!<span> </span>I want Radiant Vibrant Health.<span> </span>I’m responsible for what I put into my body and there is a real correlation between that, and how I feel, and my health numbers.<span> </span>It was making a commitment to my health. Realizing I have a choice.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">I developed habits via steps.<span> </span>Gradually I started making better choices. Trying to be perfect is no longer necessary. Now I feel much better and that keeps me motivated to keep making choices that are good for my body.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was totally open to the idea of experimenting. I know there isn’t one RIGHT way for every woman.<span> </span>I became intimately familiar with my own body. I observe and respect what feels good and what doesn’t for my body.</span></li>
</ol><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>As a result of these changes, what is now present in your life that wasn’t there? </b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">For 18 months now I've been doing all kinds of fun activities I hadn’t been able to do so easily before. Now I can flow into yoga positions I just couldn’t do because of the bulk on my body. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Thanks to my newfound body respect and awareness I recently participated in a community modern dance performance, even though I’m not a trained dancer. I had confidence that I could learn the moves. I wasn’t concerned about how my body looked on stage. I didn’t compare myself to others. I had so much fun! I never would have done this before I started taking charge of my body. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Now when we go on extended canoe trips I am able to carry my food pack across the portages easily. I don’t have to stop every few yards and rest. Cross- country skiing is so much more fun. I can get up some speed and feel more fluid and graceful skiing. It’s easier to get in and out of the car. On a practical note, I can easily carry my groceries. I don’t feel weighted down. I am much more flexible.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>What is no longer present? </b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>When I am walking down the street, I no longer sneak little peeks in the window reflections to see how “fat” I am. <span> </span>Now if I see my reflection it is no longer negative. I smile and say, “Wow you look great!”<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span><b>How have you changed the way you respect your body?</b></span><span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>Now, more than ninety per cent of the time I don’t criticize my body and am genuinely grateful for my body.<span> </span>I notice I am gentle and soft even when washing my body – not critical but appreciating my strong arms for example.<span> </span>This is a huge change.<span> </span>Previously I was unkind and really abusive to my body – scrubbing it hard and not in a kind way.<span> </span>Now I love this body!<span> </span>Accepting the changes of aging makes life so much easier.<span> </span></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>My language has changed.<span> </span>I no longer say, “I shouldn’t eat that.”<span> </span>Now I will consciously ask myself, “Hum, do I want to eat that? Am I hungry for that?<span> </span>Is this going to taste as good as it looks?”</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>What have you created in your business as a result?</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Over the phone I offer Body Breakthrough: Wise Weight Loss, Management and Momentum. Locally in Ely, Minnesota my co-leader Kathy Cyriacks and I offer Choose to Lose, a support group for women. Both programs emphasize making lifelong changes in your relationship with food, your health and your body. I tell women, “You will come to appreciate and love your body for the amazing gift it is.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Thank you Thea for doing this Blog Interview with me</b>.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;">Thea Sheldon can be found at True Voice Coaching of Ely, MN <a href="http://www.theasheldon.com/body-breakthrough.html">http://www.theasheldon.com/body-breakthrough.html</a></span> </div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-70587512230677537422011-12-22T10:49:00.000-08:002011-12-22T10:49:58.945-08:00Eating Disorders and the Holidays Guest Post on Pathways to Wholeness<h2 class="entry-title"> Happy Winter's Solistice to you!</h2><h2 class="entry-title"><span style="font-size: small;">Janet Nestor, MA, LPC, DCEP of Mindful Pathways asked me to be her guest blogger for December. This is the blog post I shared on her site: http://mindfulpathways.com/ Her book is on special for the holidays for only $5.64!! </span></h2><h2 class="entry-title"><span style="font-size: small;">Back to wrapping gifts for me. Thanks for your comments and readership. </span></h2><h2 class="entry-title"><a href="http://mindfulpathways.com/?p=541" rel="bookmark" title="Permalink to Eating Disorders and the Holidays">Eating Disorders and the Holidays</a> </h2><div class="entry-meta"> <span class="meta-prep meta-prep-author">Posted on</span> <a href="http://mindfulpathways.com/?p=541" rel="bookmark" title="7:00 am"><span class="entry-date">December 19, 2011</span></a> <span class="meta-sep">by</span> <span class="author vcard"><a class="url fn n" href="http://mindfulpathways.com/?author=2" rel="author" title="View all posts by Janet">Janet</a></span> </div><em>We are so lucky to have the opporutinity to welcome <strong>Becky Henry</strong> as our guest blogger. She is the Author of <a href="http://justtellhertostop.com/">Just Tell Her to Stop</a>, an award winning book for families who care for an member with an eating disorder. She is the founder of Hope Network a wonderful support sommunity. I recommend her book to clients with eating disorders and also to their family members as it is the only book of its kind on the market.</em><br />
Families living with an eating disorder can find the holidays extra challenging with all the focus on food. There are so many different stresses and foods that can be frightening for people facing eating disorders.<br />
Two years ago I got to have a conversation with Peter McClellan on his radio show 401k Latte about eating disorders at the holidays. We talked about the huge spreads of food that can be overwhelming and stress inducing. Take a listen: <a href="http://www.kkmslive.com/MP3/PM_12_23_09.mp3">http://www.kkmslive.com/MP3/PM_12_23_09.mp3</a><br />
Peter asked some great questions to open up the conversation about how both parents and health care providers can support someone with an eating disorder. A few things we talked about were:<br />
<ul><li>As family member; put on your oxygen mask first-make a Top Ten list and do 1 self-care/fun thing each day.</li>
<li>Family members can help by: Learning to let go with love (easier said than done).</li>
<li>Don’t make comments about other people’s bodies.</li>
<li>Low fat – Low Calorie diets backfire – they don’t work – 95% failure rate.</li>
<li>Language from health care providers is important – telling patients to lose weight not only doesn’t help – it hurts.</li>
<li>Health care providers can ask open ended questions about what a patient’s health care goals are can enroll the patient in the process of making healthy choices.</li>
<li>The book: Just Tell Her to Stop can be ordered at: <a href="http://justtellhertostop.com/">JustTellHerToStop.com</a></li>
<li>Weight-ism is alive and well –notice our judgments about sizes.</li>
<li>People can be healthy at many different sizes.</li>
<li>Focus on overall health to achieve your health goals.</li>
<li>Insurance and eating disorders coverage – Academy for Eating Disorders works for mental health parity.</li>
<li>College professors can add the book to their curriculum as required reading.</li>
<li>Companies are invited to purchase the books to donate to eating disorders treatment centers.</li>
</ul>What have you heard from your health care provider that has backfired for you? What comments have you found helpful while recovering from an eating disorder?<br />
I hope you will focus on what you are grateful for this holiday season and have peace.<br />
Hope Network:<br />
<a href="http://www.hopenetwork.info/index.html" target="_blank">http://www.hopenetwork.info/<wbr></wbr>index.html</a><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/HopeNetworkBeck#%21/hopenetwork.llc" target="_blank">http:/<wbr></wbr>/www.facebook.com/<wbr></wbr>HopeNetworkBeck#!/hopenetwork.<wbr></wbr>llc</a>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-20975512918252134652011-11-28T11:50:00.000-08:002011-11-28T11:50:13.300-08:00What is "drunkorexia" all about?When I was doing interviews for my book, Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders I heard an amazing story about a young woman with co-morbid eating disorders and alcoholism. That is fancy lingo meaning she had both an eating disorder and alcoholism. I chose not to use the story in the book because there was a lot of media attention about the outcome and legal proceedings. I interviewed the former housemate of a college student who regularly skipped eating and drank instead. Every day the young woman got so drunk that the housemates had to protect her from males who wanted to take advantage of her. On what happened to be her 21st birthday this pattern caught up with her and she died as a direct result of what was being done to her body. If a 2nd book happens I will write the whole story because it is so important to share the dangers of this combination that has come to be termed: Drunkorexia. I'd like to share a blog post from the blog at www.onlinecollege.org addressing this dangerous phenomenon. Please share your reactions in the comments section.<br />
<br />
<h1 class="entry-title">What Drunkorexia is Doing to College Students</h1><div class="entry-content"> <img class="middle" src="http://www.onlinecollege.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/drunkorexia/01_sad.jpg" /><br />
At first, <a href="http://jezebel.com/363130/eating-disorders-can-turn-you-into-an-alcoholic-is-that-so-bad">"drunkorexia"</a> may sound like kind of a funny word, jokingly made up to describe a situation in which college students and others forgo food in order to be able to afford more alcohol and feel higher effects of alcohol on an empty stomach. But what some may brush off as crazy college-kid behavior is actually a serious problem that can have highly damaging consequences both in long- and short-term health. Of course, that hasn't stopped college students from engaging in this unhealthy trend, and a study at the <a href="http://marquettetribune.org/2011/10/25/news/drunkorexia-no-eating-more-drinking-bg1-me2-td3/">University of Missouri-Columbia</a> indicated that one in six students had practiced drunkorexia within the last year. Typically, drunkorexia is done by women; the study showed that three out of four drunkorexia respondents were female.<br />
Students may not realize that drunkorexia is incredibly damaging to their health, but the fact remains that the practice puts them at risk for problems like sexually transmitted diseases, malnutrition, and even seizures and comas. Specifically, the University of Missouri study indicates that drunkorexia may lead to:<br />
<ul><li>sexually transmitted diseases</li>
<li>HIV</li>
<li>drunk driving</li>
<li>alcohol poisoning</li>
<li>injury risk</li>
<li>perpetrating or being a victim of sexual assault</li>
<li>passing out</li>
<li>malnutrition</li>
<li>heart problems</li>
<li>cognitive disabilities</li>
<li>seizure</li>
<li>comas</li>
<li>organ failure</li>
</ul>All of the possible effects are disturbing, but perhaps the most worrisome are heart problems and cognitive disabilities that can stem from drunkorexia-induced malnutrition. STDs, injury, or sexual assault are without a doubt difficult to bounce back from, but malnutrition-induced heart problems and cognitive disabilities are something you just can't take back. Cognitive problems are especially disturbing for college students, as they can result in <a href="http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2011/10/18/Drunkorexia-common-with-college-students/UPI-51701318985341/">"difficulty concentrating, studying, and making decisions."</a> These are long-term health issues brought on by drunkorexia that can follow a college student for the rest of her life. That is, assuming that the student survives past the possibility of seizures, comas, and organ failure.<br />
So it seems that a practice that may be approached lightheartedly is in fact a very serious problem that doesn't just stop with fun (and possible weight loss) one night. Used as a regular practice, drunkorexia can scar you for life and even end in death. And although the long-term effects are certainly frightening, the short-term possibilities of drunkorexia aren't incredibly easy hurdles to get over, either. Just <i>one night</i> of drunkorexia can have serious consequences, with higher levels of intoxication and starvation putting students at risk for dangerous behavior. At high levels of intoxication, students lose the ability to make good decisions, which can lead to dangerous situations like having unprotected sex, or even being involved in a rape, driving drunk, and becoming injured as a result of stunts, fights, or simply an inability to function properly. In addition to these risks, just one night of intense drinking on an empty stomach can lead to blackouts, hospitalization, and death from alcohol poisoning. Clearly, drunkorexia has serious and lasting consequences, even for students who aren't repeat offenders.<br />
<img class="middle" src="http://www.onlinecollege.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/drunkorexia/02_drink.jpg" /><br />
Drunkorexia is a scary situation for any college student, but for women, the problem is compounded. Female students are not only more prone to engage in drunkorexia, but they are also at a higher risk of problems from its effects. <a href="http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/90062922?%27Drunkorexia%27%20hits%20North%20American%20campuses">Dr. Valerie Taylor, chief of psychiatry at Women's College Hospital in Toronto</a> indicates that female college students are more likely to engage in drunkorexia due to social pressure to stay slim. Even worse, female students are more likely to experience higher effects (meaning: reach alcohol poisoning and organ damage faster) because women metabolize alcohol faster than men. These facts combined with a higher risk of sexual assault mean that girls in college are hit with an even scarier drunkorexia situation.<br />
How did things get so bad? It's one thing to have an eating disorder, and another to have a substance abuse problem, but combined, they're an incredible problem to overcome. <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/02/fashion/02drunk.html?pagewanted=all">Dr. Bunnell, former president of the National Eating Disorders Association</a>, says that college students often suffer from an obsession with being skinny, while at the same time noticing the social acceptance of alcohol and drug abuse. In a world where celebrities checking into rehab is a regular practice and can even be "downright chic," it's not hard to understand why college students, especially female students, might think that drunkorexia is OK. But on top of social pressures, psychologists share that eating disorders may also be rooted in deep emotional pain. Alcohol, binging, and purging can provide an outlet for mental anguish, including childhood traumas like sexual abuse and neglect.<br />
Such deep problems don't often come with an easy cure, and in some cases, require hospitalization and rehab. <a href="http://jezebel.com/363130/eating-disorders-can-turn-you-into-an-alcoholic-is-that-so-bad">Judy Van De Veen</a> suffered from eating disorders for years, and also took up drinking in later years. Things got so bad, she had to join a 12-step program and spent two years in and out of rehab, which cost her $25,000 out of her own pocket. None of them helped, but after becoming pregnant and joining support groups to address her daughter's caloric needs, she found an "excuse to eat" and be happy about it. Although Van De Veen's case is an extreme one, it offers a cautionary tale for students who are engaging in drunkorexia. Without help, things can go too far, resulting in a problem that can haunt you for decades, cost thousands of dollars, and even put your future family at risk.<br />
We hope it's clear by now that drunkorexia is not harmless and is actually quite dangerous to the lives and long-term health of college students. So what can you do to avoid it and stop the practice on campus? <a href="http://www.fastweb.com/student-life/articles/3311-drunkorexia-the-latest-college-trend">FastWeb</a> points out that college is a great place to simply ask for help. There are resources on every college campus to deal with not only alcohol abuse, but also eating disorders. College counselors are there to help, and your student fees have already paid for the visits. If you or a friend are suffering from drunkorexia, don't hesitate to speak up and get help while you still can. Be supportive with friends who may have a drunkorexia problem, offering positive reinforcement as well as fun alternatives to drinking, like movies and going out to dinner. It's also a good idea to set a good example by making responsible decisions with alcohol or avoiding it completely.<br />
</div><div class="entry-utility"> <div class="font-grey">November 21st, 2011 written by <a href="http://www.onlinecollege.org/author/admin/"> Site Administrator </a></div></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-25164753996690665902011-11-07T08:57:00.000-08:002011-11-07T08:57:12.663-08:00What does it mean to live in a nation where one out of every three people is obese?My response to this NPR query:<br />
"My brief response to this question:<br />
What does it mean to live in a nation where one out of every three people is obese?<br />
<br />
It means that daily there are millions of people who are being subjected to bullying and harassment due to the stigma of obesity. Due to lack of awareness it has now become acceptable to discriminate against an entire group of people. This reminds me of when educated people thought it was perfectly acceptable to discriminate against people of color. <br />
<br />
Another piece that is not understood is that <span class="text_exposed_show">there are healthy obese people and unhealthy thin people.</span> Yes, this is true. Regan Chastain of www.danceswithfat.org says it so well: <span class="text_exposed_show">"The idea of "healthy weight" is a dangerous one. Health is multi-dimensional and includes past and current behaviors, genetics, environment, stress and access. There is no weight that someone can achieve that will make them healthy. If we want to have a real discussion about health, especially when dealing with the sensitive subject of eating disorders, we need to take weight out of the discussion completely and talk about health.</span>"<br />
<br />
When we look at what the Health At Every Size community has learned it just does not make sense to make weight the goal in having good health but instead aim for creating health and let the weight land where it may. This took me a long time to understand but as I have read the work of many dedicated researchers I understand it now. This takes compassion and not shaming fat people.<br />
<br />
My biggest beef with this is that we have a worldwide epidemic of eating disorders and this anti-obesity war is only making that worse. People with eating disorders have so much body shame and dysmorphia already and hearing this constant message that "FAT IS BAD" only adds fuel to the eating disorder.<br />
<br />
The bottom line is that living in a nation where one out of every three people is obese means we must have compassion, work hard to find answers and learn from people who are actually helping people living with obesity. We do have answers and bullying, shaming and war are not the answer. "Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-54483078254507352712011-10-25T10:36:00.000-07:002011-10-25T10:36:11.139-07:00No More Stigma Around Eating DisordersThis is my dream - that one day people will freely talk about eating disorders as we NOW freely speak about breast cancer or autism. There was a time (not very long ago) that people didn't say the words, "breast cancer" because it was embarrassing. Parents were shamed for having a child with autism - so they hid it. These families have broken the silence and we have all seen how powerful it has been. <br />
<br />
Every where we look we see pink as companies and organizations support the fight against breast cancer. Big NFL players sporting pink towels, gloves, shoes, etc. A bridge in Australia all lit up in pink.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5LaY_8oEY1tLcMLwJrjxuhe5JuvWnjFUwcofSKeiq7KI9mfsf3mDsbWDfPIFgbZulpdECxHd4rRER01MieLS5-BvDHm1gHrtsuqDUlwf9cPd11YgFR9sVj-7Rs_avF0QE3xOysY_JNi0/s1600/pink.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5LaY_8oEY1tLcMLwJrjxuhe5JuvWnjFUwcofSKeiq7KI9mfsf3mDsbWDfPIFgbZulpdECxHd4rRER01MieLS5-BvDHm1gHrtsuqDUlwf9cPd11YgFR9sVj-7Rs_avF0QE3xOysY_JNi0/s1600/pink.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<br />
It has been a long time coming and now, thanks to the F.E.A.S.T. organization, the families of those with eating disorders and the professionals who support us are coming out and speaking up!<br />
<br />
I shared my thoughts on the F.E.A.S.T. Symposium website <a href="http://www.feast-ed.org/Alexandria2011.aspx">http://www.feast-ed.org/Alexandria2011.aspx</a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">“For me this symposium is the historic moment in which the trumpets blare and the world gets to know more about these complex life threatening illnesses. For years I have been looking forward to the moment when we as advocates can launch the awareness campaign that will make eating disorders a household word. Families of those with breast cancer and autism for example, have done an impressive job of creating world wide awareness as well as raising funds for those illnesses. This time has come. I hope you’ll join us and attend this historic event.”</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">My dream is coming true. We are being given not only permission but it is being requested of us to speak up and speak out about these most deadly of all mental illnesses. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14px;"><br />
</span></span> <br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14px;">I'll be there and hope you will join us! I will have the privilege of moderating a Q and A with Dr. James Lock of Stanford University. </span></span><style>
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</style><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 16pt;"><b> </b></span>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-1171867436479111332011-09-14T11:09:00.000-07:002011-09-14T11:09:47.825-07:00Eating Disorders and Older Women<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">This article will appear on the Aging But Dangerous website shortly. I wanted to share it with you here first. Becky</span><br />
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</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;"><b>Eating Disorders Consuming Older Women</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Many of us, including health professionals think of an emaciated young girl with anorexia when we hear of an eating disorder. First of all, anorexia is the least common of all eating disorders. These deadly illnesses exist on a spectrum from anorexia (AN) and bulimia (BN) to Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS) which includes Binge Eating Disorder (BED). </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I found out the hard way (when it took two years to get my daughter diagnosed) that health professionals often aren’t taught that people with eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes, colors, genders, nationalities, socioeconomic backgrounds and AGES.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Not all skinny people have eating disorders.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Not all fat people have eating disorders.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Some “normal” size people have eating disorders.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It is common for women over age 50 to feel dissatisfied with their bodies and report feeling “fat” to the point it is now “normal” to dislike our bodies.<span> </span>An example is from a friend of mine who developed terminal cancer and began shrinking. Once she had reached a much smaller size she told me one good thing about cancer was that now she was thin.<span> </span>Sad. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I have to wonder if a doctor was shown photos of my friend, one when large and one small-a year before she died, which they would believe is the “healthy” one.<span> </span>I’m certain most would choose the smaller size.<span> </span>Wouldn’t they be surprised to know she was very unhealthy—dying actually.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I can’t help but see the irony in our societal views.<span> </span>A fond childhood memory is sitting on my great-grandmother’s cushy lap and feeling like I was on a soft fluffy cloud. To me she was perfect. To the rest of the world she was a fat old lady.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Books on the subject:<span style="color: blue;"><u><br />
</u></span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><b><i>A Girl Called Tim - Escape from an Eating Disorder Hell</i></b></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><i> by</i></span><span style="color: #5e196d; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><i> </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">June Alexander – Australian author, international eating disorder advocate<span style="color: #5e196d;"><i> </i></span><span style="color: blue;"><i><u><a href="http://www.junealexander.com/">http://www.junealexander.com/</a></u></i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><b><i>Healing Your Hungry Heart</i></b></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><i> </i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;">by Joanna Poppink, MFT</span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><i> http://eatingdisorderrecovery.com/</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"><b><i>Lying in Weight: the Hidden Epidemic of Eating Disorders in Adult Women</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"> by Trisha Gura </span><span style="font-size: 10pt;"><a href="http://www.trishagura.com/gura-author-book.htm"><span style="font-family: Arial;">http://www.trishagura.com/gura-author-book.htm</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">When we as society stop looking at the outside and start looking at souls and what is on the inside we will all become stronger and better.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If you care about anyone with an eating disorder and want support please check out our fall tele-class series and our Date Without ED opportunities at </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt;"><span style="color: blue;"><u>http://www.JustTellHerToStop.com</u></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8pt;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Becky Henry</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">President, Hope Network, LLC</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 9.5pt;"><i>National Award Winning Author of</i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;"><i>: </i></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt;"><b><i>Just Tell Her to Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders</i></b></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8.5pt;"> – Available at <span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.justtellhertostop.com/">http://www.JustTellHerToStop.com</a></u></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 8pt;"> <br />
<b>Coachbeckyhenry.blogspot.com <br />
<span style="color: blue;"><u>http://www.facebook.com/HopeNetworkBeck</u></span></b></span></div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-8104747561112215042011-08-11T20:08:00.000-07:002011-08-11T20:08:11.253-07:00Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders Chapter 4<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"><b>Many of you have been asking when the e-book version of Just Tell Her To Stop will be available. Any day is what a thought a while back. So for now here is a chapter I think will be helpful to some of you trying to take care of yourselves and your ill loved one at the same time. </b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"><b>I'd love to hear your comments. And, I'll keep you posted on when the e-book is out.</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"><b>Until then, may you find joy and hope in your journey. Becky</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"><b>Chapter 4 </b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"><b>Yes, It Affects the Parents’ Marriage</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Walking up to Chris at a coffee shop, I was a bit surprised to see how composed she appeared. She had shared briefly on the phone about the many trials she was facing in addition to her daughter Mary's eating disorder. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Occasionally, her coral-colored lips quivered as she spoke, but her calm, matter-of-fact manner was almost unnerving as she casually spoke of circumstances most of us could barely comprehend. Only sporadically did a tear or two escape from her tired eyes, one of the few giveaways of the toll being taken on her life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">She currently lives with her own health issues as well as the constant worry that her daughter will die from her eating disorder. This is her greatest fear. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">I kept having to manage the thoughts going on in my head while interviewing her: <i>How can she be so conversant?</i></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"> <i>A person walking by would never suspect the stress this woman is under.</i></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"> <i>Why do we feel such an intense need to hold it together when our lives are falling apart?<span> </span>Is there so much stigma attached to eating disorders we can’t let others know about the extreme pain we are in? </i></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">It is amazing how we are sometimes able to keep our outer shells so put together when our hearts are breaking. We all do the best we can to manage the blows that life throws at us and Chris was doing a beautiful job of holding it together even though no one had guided her in the essential skills needed to help herself or her daughter.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">In a closer-to-perfect world, a parent with a seriously ill child would not face additional challenges. But they do continue and we are not handed just one challenge at a time; too often the challenges snowball. A lot of people lose their jobs, friends and family members die, car crashes happen. Even minor mishaps like the furnace breaking down can easily overwhelm us in a time of crisis. Soon the shoulders start to slump and our heads duck as we anticipate the next drama, the next upheaval. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Chris' story may be a useful tool for family members to share with friends or family who want to be supportive but are having trouble grasping the formidable challenges that exist during this illness.<span> </span><b></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"><b>Chris' Story</b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">One of my biggest frustrations is that I know my daughter Mary’s eating disorder is much more serious than my husband Tom thinks it is. Hearing Becky say that she hears this often when speaking to mothers instantly reduced my feelings of isolation. Even though I know men and women experience trauma differently, it has been lonely not having Tom acknowledge the seriousness of her situation. Seeing Mary lose interest in her friends, school, hobbies, and activities has been like watching my child emotionally shutting down before my eyes. When I try to talk with him about how very ill she is, he just says, “She looks okay to me. I don’t know what you’re so worried about all the time."</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">When I am lying awake worrying about Mary, I wonder, <i>How can he just fall right to sleep?</i></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"> <i>I feel so alone</i></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">. My annoyance has started to turn into resentment. My logical brain tells me Tom is dealing with this frightening situation his way but the emotional side of me perceives his reactions as a lack of sensitivity and empathy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Mary got married young and within months her new husband had found someone else. He made a point of telling her that his new love was slimmer. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">The day after her husband left, Mary came over to our house. All Tom did was pat her on the head before walking out of the room. I was beyond frustrated.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Like so many parents who are trying desperately to save their children’s lives from these illogical eating disorders, I find it helpful to do research. It is a coping mechanism that is helpful for me, as knowledge helps me reclaim some of the power and control the eating disorder stole when it invaded our lives. Even though some of what I learn is frightening, overall, I feel that being informed helps me support Mary more effectively and helps me know what my role needs to be. There is little else I can do as a parent to help my child.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">I am often told by my husband and friends, “Don’t do that research because you’ll just freak yourself out more.” This kind of statement just increases my feelings of isolation and helplessness. I wish they could understand that researching helps me support Mary as she regains her health. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">The failure of her short marriage was the beginning of Mary’s long downhill journey into sadness, pain, and self-destruction. She is a kind, loving, sensitive, caring person; all she ever wanted was to be married and have kids. After her new husband made it clear that this newer, sleeker woman was what <i>he</i></span><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;"> really wanted, Mary became obsessed with how she looked. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">She became very negative about all aspects of her appearance. Nothing was good enough—her hair wasn't right, her clothes made her look "fat," etc. Then she stopped wearing makeup and wouldn't even shower regularly. It was quite apparent she was becoming depressed. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">She wouldn't see friends, then lost her job and wouldn't even look for a new one, so needed to move in with us. About the time we thought things couldn't get worse she was diagnosed with the eating disorder.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Mary had been so secretive about her odd eating behaviors that it took quite awhile to get her to a doctor who could properly diagnose her. Tom and I had hoped that once she was seeing some treatment providers she would improve, but it has been a slow, painful process. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Today, Mary is trying to keep a job and go to school but things keep happening that make it impossible for her to maintain her schedule and stick to her commitments. Sometimes she cannot force herself out of bed; other times she is so down and dragged out from the medications that she just can't function. We see her daily struggles, and it just breaks my heart. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">It is a challenge to not feel guilty about any role Tom and I may have played in this. Is it genetic? Did we give her genes that caused this? In addition, it appears that she inherited polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) from me, which, ironically, is a condition common in people with eating disorders. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">It hasn’t helped that some of the “professionals” seem to know less about eating disorders than I do. One doctor actually said to her, "Just push away from the table," which did so much damage. Yet that comment was not as hurtful as when the doctor said to me, "If she had anorexia it would be much worse. You don't have as much to worry about with bulimia." Unbelievable. It may be true that more people die from anorexia than bulimia, even though more people have bulimia, but this doctor obviously has not seen the way bulimia sucks the life out of its victims and steals our loved ones from us. Our daughter deserves treatment that works.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Right now the daughter I knew is gone, replaced by a shell of her former self. I miss her terribly and my broken heart grasps for the slivers of her that randomly appear. One Sunday afternoon we played cards. Her mind was sharp and she was actively engaged in the game. It was fun and we all even had some laughs. Then, just as quickly, that glimmer of her former self was gone; the zombie that had taken over my daughter's mind, body and soul was back. Those rare glimpses of her former self keep my hope alive and tell me that she's still in there somewhere.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">I don’t know if our marriage can withstand this. Tom and I are both so tired and at a loss because it seems there is nothing we can do. I already have lost so much of my daughter—I can’t lose my husband too. The frustration, fear, and helplessness have us grasping at straws and we fight about what to do next. Something as simple as cleaning up after dinner can spark a major disagreement as I freak-out about Mary's plate left filled with food while Tom just brushes it off. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">With the current job and unemployment stresses, (I recently had shoulder surgery and can't work). What little energy I have left is focused on keeping Mary alive. Tom also lost his job a few weeks ago but we still make time to spend a few hours together free of eating disorders conversation so we can have fun. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Most people would never know that this is yet another of the challenges facing families fighting these unrepentant disorders. People have no idea why we have found it hard to maintain a social life or even keep up the garden. The constant tension, arguments, and continual attempts to motivate her drain us.<span> </span>Some days, just getting food on the table is a great accomplishment—and even then the battles begin again. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Through my research I’ve learned that relationship coaches and therapists can give some insights into how to maintain marriages and respect the male-female differences in reacting to a crisis. In the meantime, I think it is essential to give ourselves permission to stop trying to get the men in our lives to grasp the seriousness of these illnesses. We need to find support elsewhere for ourselves as well as our loved one. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">I have one sister in-law who is sympathetic, because she has a niece who had severe anorexia. My sister-in-law and a woman at work are the only people, besides the therapist I see, who are able to give me any comfort, sympathy, or empathy. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">I have found it useful to spend extra time with girlfriends as well as consciously remembering what attracted me to Tom in the first place. It has also helped that Tom and I have agreed to not play the blame game and respect our differences. We are determined to save our marriage from being a casualty of this illness. We know we both love our daughter: we just have different ways of responding to her illness.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Here are some tools I've read about that couples have found helpful:</span></div><ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Date night—have a firm rule to not talk about the ill child during the entire date.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Family therapy—find a competent therapist (preferably one who understands eating disorders) that the entire family can see regularly.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Get yourself individual therapy—or an objective third party to talk to.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">At home (not just date night), have a time block set aside with no discussion of your ill child or illness. </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Give one another backrubs or foot massages.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Exercise together or agree to individual exercise.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Find a fun hobby to do together.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Read to one another about eating disorders (or share books).</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Take warm baths.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Weekend getaways—if they don’t cause added financial burden.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Meditate or practice yoga.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Listen to your favorite soothing music.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Go to a comedy club or rent funny movies regularly.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Talk with other parents of seriously ill children who “get it.”</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Tag team when the child is extra challenging to be around.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-family: "Century Schoolbook"; font-size: 11pt;">Consciously choose to be a “united front.”</span></li>
</ol>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-49297767027958619152011-08-11T14:39:00.000-07:002011-08-11T14:39:41.725-07:00Becky's Reply to Jess Weiner's Article In Glamour<style>
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<div class="MsoNormal">August 11, 2011</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hi Jess, I’ve never been known as quick on my feet (well except when I had a toddler running herself towards some danger), I need to think about things a while.<span> </span>Your article in Glamour <a href="http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2011/08/jess-weiners-weight-struggle-loving-my-body-almost-killed-me#ixzz1UfPh6kGu">http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2011/08/jess-weiners-weight-struggle-loving-my-body-almost-killed-me#ixzz1UfPh6kGu</a> gave me a lot to think about.</div><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">I am confused.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So, when I am confused I ask questions.<span> </span>My coach hat has to go on for this because I am seeing what we call in our coaching lingo,<span> </span>‘collapsing’ of concepts.<span> </span>It looks to me like all the confusion of Health At Every Size (HAES) and Body Acceptance has combined with scary messages from your doctor and has you collapsing the accepting of your body (regardless of the size it happens to be on a given day) with taking responsibility for keeping it healthy.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I can see how this happens, the two are very intertwined.<span> </span>When I have a client who is collapsing concepts into one we ‘peel away’ the layers of the proverbial onion.<span> </span>This is where the questions come in.<span> </span>I respect you Jess and want you to know that no matter what size you are I will respect you – that includes if you are bigger or smaller.<span> </span>The statement you made about wondering if your audience would respect you should your focus on improving your health result in weight loss confuses me.<span> </span>Why, given that HAES truly focuses on health and not weight, would those of us in that world respect you less if you weighed less?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I really would love to hear your thoughts on that.<span> </span>From what I understand of HAES, if we love our body where it is at that does not also equal choosing to do nothing about improving our health.<span> </span>Two different things here.<span> </span>This is the ‘collapsing’ I hear.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I totally get it about wishing to be a different size, sitting (way too much for my comfort) and writing my book about eating disorders I gained weight.<span> </span>Fortunately I have never had an eating disorder and I am able to laugh about this – mostly.<span> </span>Now that I can get out and move my body more often in fun ways and get back to eating things that will nourish my healthy body and give me energy I am doing that, my weight may change, it may not.<span> </span>Yes, I’d love it if my clothes were not tighter than they used to be and my almost 50-year old body looked like it used to…but my main focus is my health and well being.<span> </span>I want to be able to ski, swim, kayak, bike ride, hike, be alive and healthy until I don’t wake up one day.<span> </span>That is why I do what I do to keep my body healthy – that is the focus, not weight loss.<span> </span>This does not mean I am doing it right.<span> </span>We each have to find out own way.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Next (since we aren’t in a coaching session and I cannot follow up to your answer to the question about respect) I am curious about what it was you (or your eating disorder – that you have publicly shared is still alive and well) heard from your doctor that pushed you in the direction of having weight loss as a goal rather than improving your health as a goal?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am sad to hear you say, “Still, personally, I never would have gotten my healthier numbers without confronting my weight.”<span> </span>I believe you and others can and do improve health indication numbers without confronting the weight.<span> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So, please help those of us who are confused, some angry about the shift in focus of your advocacy.<span> </span>Deb Burgard, PhD has some interesting thoughts in her blog that I’ll also be commenting on. <a href="http://healthateverysizeblog.wordpress.com/">http://healthateverysizeblog.wordpress.com/</a><span> </span>There are a lot of people that your article and actions can influence and I hope that the eating disorder’s voice doesn’t overtake your voice on educating about Health At Every Size.<span> </span>We need your strong voice in this community Jess.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> Another insightful article on HAES:</div><a href="http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43591507/ns/today-today_health/"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt;">http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43591507/ns/today-today_health/</span></a><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt;">Please share your thoughts and responses here. </span> Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-55295592313357769102011-08-09T15:36:00.000-07:002011-08-09T15:36:50.485-07:00How do I find balance when my child has an eating disorder? <style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b>How do I have balance during my child's eating disorder?</b><span> </span>And, why do I need to even think about having balance?</div><div class="MsoNormal">The short answer is, this looks different for each of us and different during the different phases we go through.<span> </span>And, you'll burn out very fast if you don't have balance.</div><div class="MsoNormal">The longer answer and my invitation for you to share what worked for you begins here.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know balance is necessary because I didn't do it well in the early phases of parenting a child with an eating disorder.<span> </span>Then I learned how to do it and practiced until it was effective.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am not kidding about burning out.<span> </span>It really is true that if we don't get our own oxygen mask on and fill our cup up we will run dry and not be of any use to anyone.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Our sick children/loved ones with eating disorders need our help (whether or not they agree with that is a different blog post).<span> </span>If we are completely drained, fried and exhausted we will be of no use to them or ourselves.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Here are some of my <b><span style="color: green;">ideas of what balance might look like </span></b>during some experiences of caring for/about someone with an eating disorder (please share what has worked for you):</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Potential Scenarios:</b></div><div class="MsoNormal">Parenting a young child/teen who has been diagnosed with an eating disorder and being treated with Family Based Therapy (FBT), Traditional Outpatient, Traditional Inpatient or Residential.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Being a college roommate or friend of classmate with an eating disorder.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Parenting an adult child who is in denial that he/she has an eating disorder.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Parenting an adult child who is being treated for an eating disorder.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Being the spouse/partner/housemate of an adult with an eating disorder.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Other potential scenarios that I didn't think of, please add in comments.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Balance creating actions:</b></div><div class="MsoNormal">Meditation / time alone to rest.</div><div class="MsoNormal">ED Free Zone/time with significant other.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Date Without ED - going out and doing something fun with friend or significant other. See more on my notes page on FB <a href="https://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&note_id=10150364194183942&id=135653374380">https://www.facebook.com/note.php?saved&&note_id=10150364194183942&id=135653374380</a></div><div class="MsoNormal">Making a Top 10 List (of fun activities) and doing at least one thing per day from it (ie- watch a movie, talk w/a friend).</div><div class="MsoNormal">Go to private space (ie- bedroom) with significant other and be alone without discussing the illness or the sick child for 2 hours.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Getting enough sleep and moving your body in a fun way.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Talking with a professional (therapist or coach) about coping tools/skills/techniques as well as resources for helping yourself and your sick child.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Journaling about your fears/worries/frustrations.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> These are just a few ideas, I would love to hear what works for you and if you need help finding more balance I would be happy to schedule some coaching with you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div><div class="MsoNormal"> </div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-37199079662916422012011-07-11T13:38:00.000-07:002011-07-11T13:38:54.683-07:00Do you care about someone with an eating disorder?<div><span style="color: #99cc00; font-size: medium;"><strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;">Tool for coping with Loved one in pain</span> </span></strong><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">-<span style="font-size: small;"> When we have someone we care about who is suffering in any way shape or form, it is hard to not worry...we all know how unproductive WORRY IS...so here is a quick tool to help!</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div><span style="color: #99cc00; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span></div><span style="color: #99cc00; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="color: black;">Picture the face of your loved one in front of you in a white balloon. Think about how much you care about him/her. Then silently or out loud, say his/her name 10 times while envisioning the balloon raising up and out of your peripheral vision and up to the universe where a higher power can help them with their troubles.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #99cc00; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana;"><span style="color: black;">I would love to hear what you notice when you try this! Please share here or on my facebook pages: http://www.facebook/HopeNetworkBeck</span></span></span>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-67398851142988663092011-07-08T15:17:00.000-07:002011-07-08T15:17:14.935-07:00Eating Disorders Advocacy and AuthenticityYesterday, Kathleen MacDonald of the Eating Disorders Coalition (the organization the receives a portion of the proceeds from sales of my book, Just Tell Her To Stop; Family Stories of Eating Disorders), gave me a wonderful acknowledgment. She appreciates that I not only understand the vast complexities of eating disorders in families but also am authentically walking the talk on claiming joy.<br />
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You see, while I am coaching other families to reclaim their joy from these destructive and challenging illnesses I am daily doing so myself. Our story is not tied up with a pretty ribbon with a happy ending, or any ending. We live in limbo as the eating disorder has taken our daughter out of our lives, we have no idea if this is permanent or temporary. It was so refreshing to hear Kathleen say that she loves that about me, that I am one of the walking wounded leading other injured soldiers to fill their cups up, put their oxygen masks on and <span style="font-size: large;"><b><span style="color: #e69138;">PARTY!</span></b></span> Yes, party. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYpCUSxxPbPfoMVrtl7H4DsBRF5W1TDiuSZ_Z0tVxBKdZuWxIi3lpJgdY8zs1VPsuC3wEn9vqqGDHY1snkqp7mqoAfmCDWaU3VdxhBrctooSYdJ7nUevrLyyGpazhtP9L8Ju434uj4yR0/s1600/No+Hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYpCUSxxPbPfoMVrtl7H4DsBRF5W1TDiuSZ_Z0tVxBKdZuWxIi3lpJgdY8zs1VPsuC3wEn9vqqGDHY1snkqp7mqoAfmCDWaU3VdxhBrctooSYdJ7nUevrLyyGpazhtP9L8Ju434uj4yR0/s320/No+Hands.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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My mantra is joy in all circumstances, and though I don't do it perfectly...what is that anyhow? I strive for it and model it. We do not help anyone else by being miserable and sad. No one. Not even ourselves. I believe in smiling, how about that? A mom who has a broken heart, smiling. How could I? I say, "How could I not?"<br />
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Speaking of smiling...a wonderful woman in Denver, CO named Katie Haley is aiming to get at least 10,000 people in Denver to smile tomorrow at 3pm MDT. You are invited to join her in person or in spirit http://smiledenver.org/<br />
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So, what am I doing to get parents/carers of those with eating disorders (ed) to <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b style="color: #6aa84f;">party</b></span> you ask?<br />
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Launching events for a campaign called: "A Date Without ED"<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"><b>Campaign:</b> "A Date Without ED"<br />
<b>Purpose:</b> Carers get out & have fun again with a significant other. They pledge to not talk about ed or the person with ed for the whole date.<br />
<b>Origin Story:</b> This came from my husband and I realizing (almost too late) that we only talked about our sick daughter and never had fun with each other anymore. We like each other and like to have fun together. We committed to having a date night now and then in which we pledged to not speak about the crisis du jour, the ED or our daughter. We had to find fun things to talk about and do. It saved our sanity and our marriage (probably our overall health).<br />
<b>Details:</b> Carers receive “kit” by signing up on the www.JustTellHerToStop.com <<span style="color: blue;"><u><a href="http://www.justtellhertostop.com/">http://www.JustTellHerToStop.com</a></u></span>> page. </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Restaurants will contribute to a non-profit supporting eating disorders.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"><b>Kit includes :</b><br />
Stickers that say: "I ATE without ED" </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">Story on how this began</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13px;">An invitation to share their story</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 13px;"> TIP sheet on talking points (as they may have forgotten what they used to talk about).</span></span><br />
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This will begin locally, in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul, MN (USA) and will expand (exponentially) nationally and internationally. I am looking for help in launching this campaign as there are many moving parts. The Aliveness Project http://www.aliveness.org/ does similar events with their "Dining Out For Life" to raise money for those living with HIV/AIDS. <br />
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Any skills, help are welcome. I have a few people who have already said they will help and we are looking for a few more dedicated passionate people who can help get thousands of carers out there reclaiming joy and at the same time raising funds (and supporting wonderful restaurants) for eating disorders non-profits.<br />
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If you are part of a non-profit and would like to be involved just contact me. Becky@hopenetwork.info<br />
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Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-38700033614783026632011-06-09T15:53:00.000-07:002011-06-10T05:29:31.814-07:00My TurnNot much gets my blood boiling these days. Lots of breathing and choosing my thoughts helps that. But as a parent of a child with an eating disorder when I encounter the old treatment beliefs about families being a piece of the "What causes eating disorders" puzzle...you may as well have told me, "You stink as a mom and it's all your fault that your daughter nearly died and is still sick after 11 years." Whatever.<br />
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Here is my response to a treatment provider who blogged about eating disorders causation and the only puzzle piece (out of dozens of potential causes) that she focused on was family dynamics. Puuhhhlleeezze. Stop it now.<br />
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Here is my response for the record (been waiting a really long time to say this to professionals who still feel that if it weren't for pathological parents we wouldn't have eating disorders)....One actually said that to me last fall - I remained calm...but let me tell you, when people ask me about therapists in NYC...her name is on the "DO NOT CALL" list.<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">As a parent who is now living with the heartbreaking effects (long term estrangement from my adult daughter) of the treatment model now referred to as "parentectomy" I was very saddened and angered to see the focus on family in your blog post about Causation. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-brisman-phd/eating-disorder-causation_b_863007.html?show_comment_id=91295613#comment_91295613,sb=587689,b=facebook">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-brisman-phd/eating-disorder-causation_b_863007.html?show_comment_id=91295613#comment_91295613,sb=587689,b=facebook</a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As "Charlotte - UK" stated so eloquently: "...to even imply that they do may put at risk the health and lives of eating disorder patients, by alienating the carers who continue to love and care for them long after the insurance money runs out." </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And, as Dr. Sarah Ravin says, "But if there are no obvious familial or environmental issues fueling the disorder, please don’t waste time searching for them. You aren’t doing the patient or the family any good by “being curious,” or “just exploring.” You are simply satisfying your own voyeuristic drive..."</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I too am 100% for more research, do not get me wrong. We need it. In fact I am starting a world wide campaign with the AED to raise millions of dollars for eating disorders research. Private funding. From parents. There are at bare minimum 70 million of us out there who love someone with an eating disorder and we can and do make a difference. AND we are not all pathological. Thank you for stating that, "I've also seen an extraordinary array of health and resilience." I completely understand that you see and hear about tons of pathology. AND as other commenters have shared - not all children of pathological parents develop eating disorders.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What I am very curious about is with the vast complexity of contributing factors to eating disorders what the reasoning was for focusing on the family piece. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Why was there no mention of the fact that these are neurobiologically-based, genetically transmitted diseases?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">What is the purpose of putting the family under the microscope when, as you state, "For these kids, it is unclear what in the family may -- or may not -- have contributed to the heartbreaking disorder that can destroy a teen's life as well as that of his or her family."?</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As you shared, focusing on the family was for so long the treatment protocol. It is challenging to shift gears when we were trained in a certain paradigm and then learn years later that it was wrong. Especially when there is evidence of pathological families parading through your office daily, not to mention the distorted thinking often present in eating disordered patients which often sounds real to the care team.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I appreciate your apology and I hear a 'but'..."That being said...bingeing...can all be turned to...". It is time to really truly embrace the scientific evidence as well as be aware of the long term damage that can be caused to a family by seeing them as part of the problem. We have not done that with chemical dependency for years. It is time to stop with eating disorders.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am grateful to see your sentence showing that shift, "Whether they lock in as a significant disorder most likely has to do with genetics and physiological predispositions, not the family."</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I would be willing to bet that in any other life threatening illness we would find pathological parents...but no one is looking at the "family dynamics" when a child has cancer...that would be cruel and a waste of precious time.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Respectfully,</div><div class="MsoNormal">Becky Henry </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-7131377638502347912011-05-26T08:38:00.000-07:002011-05-26T08:38:19.584-07:00Just Tell Her To Stop Wins National Book Award!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB-tiOCUx77QC9qz9ZXA1vWYBrxme4fmaA6wKTW8iGy8kqoK-teHPl1FACXRotebChP0eTFhoCXbPRs2bs-qngj-kc8I0ybHSvZcx_0sFDG1FSNET-5HWTaDDEEk2XYJ3ukaTJzlrBwKU/s1600/IPPY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB-tiOCUx77QC9qz9ZXA1vWYBrxme4fmaA6wKTW8iGy8kqoK-teHPl1FACXRotebChP0eTFhoCXbPRs2bs-qngj-kc8I0ybHSvZcx_0sFDG1FSNET-5HWTaDDEEk2XYJ3ukaTJzlrBwKU/s1600/IPPY.jpg" /></a></div>In the previous post I shared some of the updates and here is the link to the Just Tell Her To Stop National Book Award I won (I found out on May 5th 2011and awards were presented in NYC May 23rd). http://www.independentpublisher.com/article.php?page=1442<br />
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I am still positively giddy about it as this will help get the book out to more families around the world who want to feel less alone in their struggles with these life threatening illnesses.<br />
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And, so much has been happening, I forgot to put this in the list on the last post. Local Twin Cities Playwright, Cynthia Holm wrote and directed a short 10 minute play based on Just Tell Her To Stop about one woman's recovery from an eating disorder. You can see the play here. <br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns4nwkMb-nE" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ns4nwkMb-nE</a><br />
If you would like to use this in your educational presentations please use these credits with it: Written by Cynthia Holm for Becky Henry at Hope Network, LLC based on the concepts in the Infinite Hope Publishing book by Becky Henry: Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders.Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3525152959973167049.post-47225400277996331462011-05-24T14:37:00.000-07:002011-05-24T14:37:49.048-07:00Back to bloggingDecember to May is a long time to be away. (Oooh, this could be a poem...don't worry I won't). After getting <b><i>Just Tell Her To Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders</i></b> published 1/1/11 via my newly formed publishing company: Infinite Hope Publishing, I am finally rested up and have found enough balance to resume blogging. (Trying to walk my coaching talk here...)<br />
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There are so many exciting things to share, for now a list will do and I'll share updates on each one as I blog to get things caught up. <br />
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Since December:<br />
<ul><li>Book Published and Printed 1000 paperback copies</li>
<li>Distributor Itasca Books stores 500 of those copies and is distributing to wholesalers </li>
<li>Amazon and Barnes and Noble online start carrying Just Tell Her To Stop</li>
<li>January 2011 Becky becomes board member of F.E.A.S.T.-ed (Families Empowered and Supported in Treatment of Eating Disorders) <span style="color: blue;">http://www.feast-ed.org/</span></li>
<li>National Speaking Tour began in Baltimore, MD at Eating Disorder Network Maryland's 5th Annual Eating Disorder Awareness Event in February, 2011</li>
<li>Gurze Books begins carrying Just Tell Her To Stop in its online bookstore http://www.bulimia.com/</li>
<li>Plans underway to collaborate on research on Hope Network/Pivotal Crossings Tele-Classes with Emily Program and U of M in MN.</li>
<li>Timberline Knolls, Chicago, IL to sponsor August Tele-classes for parents</li>
<li><b>IPPY Award </b>- Independent Publishers Book Awards given to Just Tell Her To Stop in the Mental Health/Psychology National category in May 2011</li>
<li>Plans underway to begin <b>Eat Out Without ED</b> night.</li>
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Holy Moly - no wonder I've been tired and haven't had time to blog. That is it in a nutshell for now. If you want more info on any of these before the next blog post...check out my FB page (I'm there everyday...I swear it isn't procrastinating...not at all...) <b>https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/Hope-Network-Inc/135653374380</b><br />
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Oh, almost forgot - the day changing review I saw on Amazon today (go ahead make my day - post your review): (thank you to "Robin" whoever you are - you made my day!)<br />
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Just-Tell-Her-Stop-Disorders/product-reviews/0984548904/ref=dp_top_cm_cr_acr_txt?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">http://amzn.to/kieUNG</a></span></span></h6>Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08906198528413003040noreply@blogger.com0