Here is a screen shot of the page so you know you're in the right place:
Becky Henry
Hope Network, LLC
Sept 26, 2012
This parent advocate's thoughts on claiming joy while loving someone with an eating disorder.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Hi faithful readers! A few months back I switched my blog to my new wordpress website at http://hopenetwork.info/?page_id=121. I'd love for you to follow me there and comment away. I've got a wonderful intern who is helping me get posts up weekly!
Here is a screen shot of the page so you know you're in the right place:
THANK YOU! I look forward to seeing you there and hearing your thoughts.
Becky Henry
Hope Network, LLC
Sept 26, 2012
Here is a screen shot of the page so you know you're in the right place:
Becky Henry
Hope Network, LLC
Sept 26, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
MN Eating Disorders Support
An open invite to eating disorders advocates in Minnesota/Wisconsin from Melrose Institute:
Be our guest on May 9th at the Be You fundraising event to benefit Park Nicollet Melrose Institute.
On May 9 from 5:00 - 7:45 p.m., we will host an evening of inspiration and creativity. Learn how Melrose programs help more than 1,500 people each year who are struggling with food and body image issues build healthy lives, bodies and heal. The evening will showcase the creative arts and the healing process.
A special part of the evening will be a performance of “To Eat” produced by Hippocrates Café, created by Jon Hallberg, MD. Through storytelling, poetry and song, we will explore our complicated relationships with food.
Participants will be invited to make a charitable gift (no minimum or maximum required) and contributions will benefit Melrose Institute’s art and wellness programs, education and outreach presentations to schools and community organizations, research and patient and family care programs.
The evening program is as follows:
5:00: Check-in, reception and program displays
5:45: Program
6:30: “To Eat” a special performance by Hippocrates Café
Park Nicollet Melrose Institute is located at 3525 Monterey Drive in St. Louis Park, MN 55416. There is free parking in our lot and ramp.
Struggling with food and body image issues can be challenging. Park Nicollet Melrose Institute is a specialty center that helps individuals heal from all types of eating problems. A national leader, Melrose Institute has been providing high-quality expertise and comprehensive personalized care for more than 25 years.
At Park Nicollet Foundation, we use philanthropy to enhance the patient and family experience, promote innovation and research, and respond to the health care needs of our community.
Be our guest on May 9th at the Be You fundraising event to benefit Park Nicollet Melrose Institute.
On May 9 from 5:00 - 7:45 p.m., we will host an evening of inspiration and creativity. Learn how Melrose programs help more than 1,500 people each year who are struggling with food and body image issues build healthy lives, bodies and heal. The evening will showcase the creative arts and the healing process.
A special part of the evening will be a performance of “To Eat” produced by Hippocrates Café, created by Jon Hallberg, MD. Through storytelling, poetry and song, we will explore our complicated relationships with food.
This free event is made possible by the Park Nicollet Foundation. Registration is required either online or by calling 952-993-5023.
The evening program is as follows:
5:00: Check-in, reception and program displays
5:45: Program
6:30: “To Eat” a special performance by Hippocrates Café
Park Nicollet Melrose Institute is located at 3525 Monterey Drive in St. Louis Park, MN 55416. There is free parking in our lot and ramp.
At Park Nicollet Foundation, we use philanthropy to enhance the patient and family experience, promote innovation and research, and respond to the health care needs of our community.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Anne-Sophie Reinhardt's blog series on Reasons For Recovery
I’m collaborating with other writers in a blog series for the month of February. The theme is: Reasons For Recovery. Anne-Sophie Reinhardt at Fighting Anorexia asked several of us advocates to blog about the topic. I'll be sharing mine today, February 24th 2012.
As most of you know I am the parent of someone who has fought an eating disorder for about 12 years now. I have not ever been in recovery myself so I speak from the perspective of a parent who has fought these horrific illnesses from the sidelines, the trenches and anywhere else I can put myself.
I'm on a mission to improve the lives of all impacted by these most deadly of all mental illnesses. One life at a time. I start with the family members who are walking around with their hearts ripped open from the pain they have observed in their loved ones who are being taken over by one of these monsters.
As part of that mission I am doing what I can to help raise funds for research. The AED and Hope Network 1 Family $1 Drive for Eating Disorders Research idea came to me one morning while meditating. There are approximately 70 million people worldwide suffering from eating disorders. They all have at least one person who cares about them. The idea is that if each of those carers donates $1 to this fund then there will be millions for research scholarships. Here is the website http://www.aedweb.org/Get_Involved.htm when you click on the purple words AED and Hope Network 1 Family $1 Drive for Eating Disorders Research you will be taken to another page. On this page put your dollar amount in the box next to the words, "Scholarship Fund"and your donation will add to the others and soon we'll have some answers.
In that role of helping the caregivers or carers I often suggest that they make a "Top 10 List" of things that they enjoy doing, that bring them peace and joy. The purpose is to help them get their oxygen mask on so to speak. To get their cup filled up so that they are equipped to not only function well themselves but also to be an effective support to their loved one who is so sick.
So today I am sharing my "Top 10 Reasons for Recovery! "
1. There are people who care about you and want you to live.
2. You are special because you are alive.
3. Life in recovery is amazing.
4. It gets better.
5. You have talents and gifts that are unique and the world is waiting for them.
6. Your true self is waiting to be released.
7. Your dog/bird/spider/lizard/cat/pet.
8. Having FUN!
9. Enjoying life and food and yourself.
10. It would make Becky happy to know that Ed lost and YOU won! Truly.
Thank you all for being recovery warriors and for spreading the word about the 1 Family/$1 Research Scholarship Fund so we can have some answers and HOPE for a world without ED.
Becky Henry, CPCC
Hope Network, Inc.
Speaker, Coach and Award Winning Author of: Just Tell Her to Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders
Becky@hopenetwork.info
952-451-5663
Websites:
www.JustTellHerToStop.com
www.hopenetwork.info
Coachbeckyhenry.blogspot.com
Connect with me here:
twitter.com/HopeNetworkBeck
linkedin.com/in/eatingdisordercoach
http://www.facebook.com/HopeNetworkBeck
As most of you know I am the parent of someone who has fought an eating disorder for about 12 years now. I have not ever been in recovery myself so I speak from the perspective of a parent who has fought these horrific illnesses from the sidelines, the trenches and anywhere else I can put myself.
I'm on a mission to improve the lives of all impacted by these most deadly of all mental illnesses. One life at a time. I start with the family members who are walking around with their hearts ripped open from the pain they have observed in their loved ones who are being taken over by one of these monsters.
As part of that mission I am doing what I can to help raise funds for research. The AED and Hope Network 1 Family $1 Drive for Eating Disorders Research idea came to me one morning while meditating. There are approximately 70 million people worldwide suffering from eating disorders. They all have at least one person who cares about them. The idea is that if each of those carers donates $1 to this fund then there will be millions for research scholarships. Here is the website http://www.aedweb.org/Get_Involved.htm when you click on the purple words AED and Hope Network 1 Family $1 Drive for Eating Disorders Research you will be taken to another page. On this page put your dollar amount in the box next to the words, "Scholarship Fund"and your donation will add to the others and soon we'll have some answers.
In that role of helping the caregivers or carers I often suggest that they make a "Top 10 List" of things that they enjoy doing, that bring them peace and joy. The purpose is to help them get their oxygen mask on so to speak. To get their cup filled up so that they are equipped to not only function well themselves but also to be an effective support to their loved one who is so sick.
So today I am sharing my "Top 10 Reasons for Recovery! "
1. There are people who care about you and want you to live.
2. You are special because you are alive.
3. Life in recovery is amazing.
4. It gets better.
5. You have talents and gifts that are unique and the world is waiting for them.
6. Your true self is waiting to be released.
7. Your dog/bird/spider/lizard/cat/pet.
8. Having FUN!
9. Enjoying life and food and yourself.
10. It would make Becky happy to know that Ed lost and YOU won! Truly.
Thank you all for being recovery warriors and for spreading the word about the 1 Family/$1 Research Scholarship Fund so we can have some answers and HOPE for a world without ED.
Becky Henry, CPCC
Hope Network, Inc.
Speaker, Coach and Award Winning Author of: Just Tell Her to Stop: Family Stories of Eating Disorders
Becky@hopenetwork.info
952-451-5663
Websites:
www.JustTellHerToStop.com
www.hopenetwork.info
Coachbeckyhenry.blogspot.com
Connect with me here:
twitter.com/HopeNetworkBeck
linkedin.com/in/eatingdisordercoach
http://www.facebook.com/HopeNetworkBeck
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Anne-Sophie's Pro-Recovery Project
Today is Benjamin's day for the Pro-Recovery Project. Interesting that we have a male eating disorders blogger today since it's in the news today on NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3032619/vp/46480643
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves
There are many ‘eating styles’ and many of them can actually help us to stay healthy - but some are driven by an impulsive fear of becoming fat or bigger. These can damage our health in permeable ways and are called eating disorders. The most common disorders are Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating Disorder.
The causes for the development of an eating disorder are very complicated but research has suggested that both biological and psychological causes are prerequisites in the development of an eating disorder.
There are a broad array of eating disorder treatment options but regrettably most of that is contingent on where one lives and how much money someone has as many of the treatments can be quite costly.
I am the mind frame that the success of a treatment is very dependent firstly on one's mind frame. Some have suggested it is the path up to the road that is the journey to recovery and self discovery.
I will say that an eating disorder is never based on the symptoms. It is not really about calories, food, weight and body image...but it's really about self-worth, self-esteem, insecurity, control and the diffidence associated around one's identity.
Eating Disorders are worrying and tumultuous illnesses that sufferers and loved ones need to 'nip in the bud' at the first stage of discovery.
There are many reasons to recover from an eating disorder, but in this post I will focus on the aspect of psychological freedom.
Nothing beautiful has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was paramount to individual circumstance. This illness can plague, tarnish and jade the emotional faculty and instils within sufferers a ubiquitous obsession, infatuation and anxiety that can tarnish almost every element of one's being. I have spent numerous, mundane hours pensively exploring my mind, recognising my tendencies, frailties and strengths and recognising that despite all the perceived "benefits".... I wanted freedom. I wanted to be able to have the freedom to make an impartial action, to take an impartial, rational stance. I wanted to be able to sit down without that lingering impulse that is symptomatic of an eating disorder. Tranquillity, peace and serenity cannot be induced with a oscillating and unyielding eating disorder. There's no control in an eating disorder, but merely the illusion of such. The eating disorder controls us and it becomes so intertwined with our psyche that we start to identify with it and we start to believe that it is us. Although it is of course us, it should be differentiated from our normal, rational and healthy psychological state.
The road of recovery is a journey of self-discovery. We recognise our values, qualities, desires, strengths and weaknesses. We advance within ourselves, we question the pressures that the inane mass media invoke on us, we question those comments from others about our appearance and we ask ourselves why we deserve freedom. The most striking question that we ask is what it means to be happy and what founds the most impassioned, long lasting and healthy form of happiness?
Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you need belief, confidence and desire. Life is temporal, beautiful and amassed with opportunity, love and friendship. We only have one flight from the nest into the sunset, let us make our passage, our expedition and our reality as peaceful, free and content as possible. Be the person you want to be remembered as, defy pressures external and internal, love you, allow yourself to be loved and find oneself.
The causes for the development of an eating disorder are very complicated but research has suggested that both biological and psychological causes are prerequisites in the development of an eating disorder.
There are a broad array of eating disorder treatment options but regrettably most of that is contingent on where one lives and how much money someone has as many of the treatments can be quite costly.
I am the mind frame that the success of a treatment is very dependent firstly on one's mind frame. Some have suggested it is the path up to the road that is the journey to recovery and self discovery.
I will say that an eating disorder is never based on the symptoms. It is not really about calories, food, weight and body image...but it's really about self-worth, self-esteem, insecurity, control and the diffidence associated around one's identity.
Eating Disorders are worrying and tumultuous illnesses that sufferers and loved ones need to 'nip in the bud' at the first stage of discovery.
There are many reasons to recover from an eating disorder, but in this post I will focus on the aspect of psychological freedom.
Nothing beautiful has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was paramount to individual circumstance. This illness can plague, tarnish and jade the emotional faculty and instils within sufferers a ubiquitous obsession, infatuation and anxiety that can tarnish almost every element of one's being. I have spent numerous, mundane hours pensively exploring my mind, recognising my tendencies, frailties and strengths and recognising that despite all the perceived "benefits".... I wanted freedom. I wanted to be able to have the freedom to make an impartial action, to take an impartial, rational stance. I wanted to be able to sit down without that lingering impulse that is symptomatic of an eating disorder. Tranquillity, peace and serenity cannot be induced with a oscillating and unyielding eating disorder. There's no control in an eating disorder, but merely the illusion of such. The eating disorder controls us and it becomes so intertwined with our psyche that we start to identify with it and we start to believe that it is us. Although it is of course us, it should be differentiated from our normal, rational and healthy psychological state.
The road of recovery is a journey of self-discovery. We recognise our values, qualities, desires, strengths and weaknesses. We advance within ourselves, we question the pressures that the inane mass media invoke on us, we question those comments from others about our appearance and we ask ourselves why we deserve freedom. The most striking question that we ask is what it means to be happy and what founds the most impassioned, long lasting and healthy form of happiness?
Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you need belief, confidence and desire. Life is temporal, beautiful and amassed with opportunity, love and friendship. We only have one flight from the nest into the sunset, let us make our passage, our expedition and our reality as peaceful, free and content as possible. Be the person you want to be remembered as, defy pressures external and internal, love you, allow yourself to be loved and find oneself.
Are Eating Disorders Addictions?
Recently there was an insightful and respectful discussion about whether or not some eating disorders can be considered addictions on a closed group on Facebook for Therapists, MD's, Nutritionists and Coaches Specializing in Eating Disorders.
Dr. Cynthia Bulik posted the question in response to a query. She shared her wisdom and suggested "we find a new word that captures the essence and uniqueness of the power that food can have over us."
In response to the many folks who contributed to the discussion about behavioral addictions among other things, Jessica Setnick had a response that I feel is worth sharing here. It really says what I have thought all along but I didn't have the words for it. I copied this from her post on Facebook so I apologize for the tiny font and the paragraphs are mine to make it easier to read.
Knowing that none of us have all the answers, I have the utmost respect for other points of view, but I think exactly the opposite.
I think that there are subgroups of what are now communally referred to as "eating disorders" and that is why studying treatment approaches and even drug trials provide such equivocal results. I think that eating disorders are in most cases NOT their own kind of disorder, but the eating-related SYMPTOM of some underlying issue. I think that is exactly why the DSM does a terrible job of attempting to define eaitng disorders, because it only uses the symptoms as definitions, rather than the root cause, which could be genetic, hormonal (whether innate or environmentally affected after birth), neurochemical (again either innate or modified by experience), learned behavior, or something else. In other words,
I believe that there ARE anxiety-related eating problems, depression-related eating problems, post-traumatic eating problems, purely biochemical eating problems (PANDAS being the most obvious), obsessive-compulsive eating problems, and addictive eating problems. And though they all "look" the same, as defined by starving, binge eating, purging, or other behaviors and thought patterns, they in fact stem from different biological/biochemical processes, and therefore respond to treatment quite differently.
In this framework, I believe there are addiction-related eating problems. This sub-type may be more frequent in those who also have other addictions. Isn't it interesting that some individuals with eating disorders are addicted to other chemicals and behaviors and some are not at all?
We know that different foods are digested and absorbed differently by different people, why do we continue to deny that they can be metabolized differently and reacted to in the brain differently?
I too learned in dietitian school that you can't be addicted to something that you need every day, like oxygen, but I differ now in my thinking - I think that I AM addicted to oxygen! I think that I do need it every day, every minute in fact, and that when I don't have it, I feel terrible and would do absolutely anything to get it. Including things I would never do in other circumstances, just like someone who steals money to get drugs, or food to binge on.
I think that grouping a number of people together who are all coughing, and studying their response to cough drops is going to lead to confusing results. Because some of those people might have TB, and the cough drop will have no effect. And some of those people might be choking on a chicken bone, and adding a cough drop will make them much worse. So when you group a bunch of patients together who are all vomiting after eating, and the intervention only works on some of them, isn't it possible that there are several sub-groups and the intervention is 100% successful on one of the sub-groups and 0% successful on others? And yet we continue to insist on these definitions based on outcome behaviors rather than on etiology.
I wish that the eating disorder community could look at things more like Irene Chatoor (sp?) with the feeding disorders. I think that is a much better model for us with much better potential to identify treatment or even a cure.
The anxiety-related eating disorders perhaps will be treated effectively with anti-anxiety medications and CBT, while the depression-related eating disorders perhaps will be treated with anti-depressants and exercise, eg yoga. PANDAS will be treated with antibiotics and nutrition plus other possible therapies, and addictive eating will be treated with a 12-step model.
Learned behavior eating disorders will be improved as our society becomes less obsesses and teaches better media literacy skills. I am speculating here. But it makes so much sense to me when I have seen patients who fit the exact same profile under our current nomenclature, and yet one is vomiting her food because after finding out she is pregnant after a gang rape she feels dirty ever time she eats, and the other is vomiting because she wants to make the cheerleading team.
Two patients who are starving themselves, one because she feels guilty for being on drugs when her mother was dying of cancer and believes that if she eats then someone else in her family will die, and another who is petrified to be obese ever again after a painful childhood of abuse and bullying. We know these individuals don't need the same treatment,
why do we insist that they have the same disease? If none of the current paradigms we have fit correctly, why not try a whole new one?
Dr. Cynthia Bulik posted the question in response to a query. She shared her wisdom and suggested "we find a new word that captures the essence and uniqueness of the power that food can have over us."
In response to the many folks who contributed to the discussion about behavioral addictions among other things, Jessica Setnick had a response that I feel is worth sharing here. It really says what I have thought all along but I didn't have the words for it. I copied this from her post on Facebook so I apologize for the tiny font and the paragraphs are mine to make it easier to read.
Knowing that none of us have all the answers, I have the utmost respect for other points of view, but I think exactly the opposite.
I think that there are subgroups of what are now communally referred to as "eating disorders" and that is why studying treatment approaches and even drug trials provide such equivocal results. I think that eating disorders are in most cases NOT their own kind of disorder, but the eating-related SYMPTOM of some underlying issue. I think that is exactly why the DSM does a terrible job of attempting to define eaitng disorders, because it only uses the symptoms as definitions, rather than the root cause, which could be genetic, hormonal (whether innate or environmentally affected after birth), neurochemical (again either innate or modified by experience), learned behavior, or something else. In other words,
I believe that there ARE anxiety-related eating problems, depression-related eating problems, post-traumatic eating problems, purely biochemical eating problems (PANDAS being the most obvious), obsessive-compulsive eating problems, and addictive eating problems. And though they all "look" the same, as defined by starving, binge eating, purging, or other behaviors and thought patterns, they in fact stem from different biological/biochemical processes, and therefore respond to treatment quite differently.
In this framework, I believe there are addiction-related eating problems. This sub-type may be more frequent in those who also have other addictions. Isn't it interesting that some individuals with eating disorders are addicted to other chemicals and behaviors and some are not at all?
We know that different foods are digested and absorbed differently by different people, why do we continue to deny that they can be metabolized differently and reacted to in the brain differently?
I too learned in dietitian school that you can't be addicted to something that you need every day, like oxygen, but I differ now in my thinking - I think that I AM addicted to oxygen! I think that I do need it every day, every minute in fact, and that when I don't have it, I feel terrible and would do absolutely anything to get it. Including things I would never do in other circumstances, just like someone who steals money to get drugs, or food to binge on.
I think that grouping a number of people together who are all coughing, and studying their response to cough drops is going to lead to confusing results. Because some of those people might have TB, and the cough drop will have no effect. And some of those people might be choking on a chicken bone, and adding a cough drop will make them much worse. So when you group a bunch of patients together who are all vomiting after eating, and the intervention only works on some of them, isn't it possible that there are several sub-groups and the intervention is 100% successful on one of the sub-groups and 0% successful on others? And yet we continue to insist on these definitions based on outcome behaviors rather than on etiology.
I wish that the eating disorder community could look at things more like Irene Chatoor (sp?) with the feeding disorders. I think that is a much better model for us with much better potential to identify treatment or even a cure.
The anxiety-related eating disorders perhaps will be treated effectively with anti-anxiety medications and CBT, while the depression-related eating disorders perhaps will be treated with anti-depressants and exercise, eg yoga. PANDAS will be treated with antibiotics and nutrition plus other possible therapies, and addictive eating will be treated with a 12-step model.
Learned behavior eating disorders will be improved as our society becomes less obsesses and teaches better media literacy skills. I am speculating here. But it makes so much sense to me when I have seen patients who fit the exact same profile under our current nomenclature, and yet one is vomiting her food because after finding out she is pregnant after a gang rape she feels dirty ever time she eats, and the other is vomiting because she wants to make the cheerleading team.
Two patients who are starving themselves, one because she feels guilty for being on drugs when her mother was dying of cancer and believes that if she eats then someone else in her family will die, and another who is petrified to be obese ever again after a painful childhood of abuse and bullying. We know these individuals don't need the same treatment,
why do we insist that they have the same disease? If none of the current paradigms we have fit correctly, why not try a whole new one?
Jessica Setnick, MS, RD, CSSD, CEDRD
Author of The American Dietetic Association Pocket Guide to Eating Disorders
National Director of Training and Education for Ranch 2300 Collegiate Eating Disorders Treatment Program
6510 Abrams Road, Suite 302
Dallas, Texas 75231
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Arielle's turn in Anne-Sophie's Pro-Recovery Project
Pro-Recovery Project: Arielle's Words
Anyone who knows me, who has read my blog for the last 4+ years, and has watched my motivational speaking videos knows that I am PRO-RECOVERY. Being pro-recovery is part of my very essence. I'm happy and excited to be part of Anne-Sophie's Pro-Recovery Project, which is showcasing one recovery blogger for each day in the month of February.
Well, readers, today is my day. And it's your day too. The day is waiting for you. Don't make it wait too long.
Anyone can tell you to recover. You have to choose recovery for yourself. But what's more - you GET to chose it for yourself. It's YOUR gift. It's YOUR reward. I always like to share a little something I call Arielle's Mantra:
And this is the answer I always give:
- Because my life doesn't revolve around food, exercise, feelings of hunger, my own image in the mirror, the way my clothes fit, what people say to me regarding appearance or success/failure.
-Because I actually have a life.
-Because when I wake up in the morning I am content, not filled with despair.
-Because I don't have to work at it. It is now natural.
-Because I can help others without being triggered by them.
-Because I live by what I’m writing here.
-Because I like my body.
-Because I even, most of the time, LOVE my body.
-Because I am at peace with issues of my adolescence.
-Because I can eat without over-thinking.
-Because I don't binge or purge or starve myself.
-Because I don't even WANT to binge, purge, or starve myself.
-Because I don't care what the number on a scale says and it used to incredibly define me.
-Because I am a healthy weight.
-Because I appreciate myself instead of hate myself.
-Because I feel free.
I am here in the moment and not afraid to eat, look, live, love. And you can do it too.
The length of time isn't what's important. It can take 3 years or 30 years. The goal is to get to the point where you can say, “I'm free” and mean it. Don't give yourself a deadline. Don't beat yourself up for slip-ups. Just. keep. trying.
Understand my main point: being "recovered" isn't about always being happy 100% of the time—it's about knowing what to do when you're not.
No matter how many cons there are to your dilemma, one big pro outweighs them all: you getting better, you feeling better, you learning to live life again.
Put more faith in yourself than in your eating disorder. Don’t underestimate your power to move forward and stay there. It all starts with you.
Well, readers, today is my day. And it's your day too. The day is waiting for you. Don't make it wait too long.
Anyone can tell you to recover. You have to choose recovery for yourself. But what's more - you GET to chose it for yourself. It's YOUR gift. It's YOUR reward. I always like to share a little something I call Arielle's Mantra:
Recovery is possible.
It's not a guarantee. It's a possibility.
It's not simple. It is difficult and sometimes seems impossible.
It's not a one-step process. It's a multi-step process complete with twists and turns and bending roads...and roads you didn't even know were there.
It's not the same for everyone.
It's not always a happy process. It's not always a sad process.
It IS empowering.
It's not about pleasing other people. It is not about them.
It's about YOU.
It's not about perfection. It IS about emotion. It IS about honesty. It IS about self-discovery and self-affirmation.
It's not about what you don't have. It's about using what you've got.
It's not about hiding. It's about finding and displaying.
It's not a quick-fix. It's a lifelong plan set into motion by truth and nurturing and self-love.
It's not about external factors or environment. It IS about what's within.
It is not crazy. It IS real.
Recovery is possible.
This mantra has its own tab on the top of my site. It deserves its own tab, because this right here is a mantra to repeat - over and over again. It's not only my mantra for you, it's my message to you.
When it comes to eating disorder recovery, there are many different kinds of people. There are those who believe in full recovery, those who believe in full recovery – but not for themselves, and those who do not believe in it at all. I think full recovery is possible for everyone. Will it happen for everyone? No. But is it possible? Yes. You get to choose to take the steps to do it. To put your plans and goals and hopes and dreams into action. The dream of New Life FREE of an eating disorder is an excellent, worthy dream that can become a reality.
There are a lot of factors that influence a person’s ability to recover, but real recovery from an eating disorder happens, and it happens every day. It’s not a matter of beating the odds, but of beating the eating disorder.
When influential folks say that full recovery from an eating disorder is unlikely, I get angry. When they imply that full recovery will happen to one in a million (or some equally incomprehensible number), I get upset. When they focus on all the people who have NOT recovered instead of those who have, I get emotional.
It’s difficult to promote recovery to those struggling with eating disorders when they are constantly being told that the odds are against them. Why bother trying at all? If you are already deemed to be (and doomed to be) a statistic from the start, what’s the point in paying money for treatment/care/counseling or getting support from friends/family/services? Isn’t it all a waste?
The short answer is: NO. Not only is recovery completely possible, it’s also worth every effort. Whether you’re involved with a whole treatment team, simply seeing one therapist, using an alternative support system, or going it alone – recovery is possible, real, and wonderful.
I know this, because I’m a recovered individual myself. It wasn’t always an easy path. I worked hard, used support, created support I didn’t already have, and kept climbing.
Today, I’m happy and healthy in body and mind. I've been fully recovered for some years now. I live my every day, a woman who is transformed from the girl she used to be. I think things start to disappear one by one as we recover. I think the more obvious pieces go first. We get to a healthy weight (whatever that is for us and our respective disorders). We let go of behaviors. We stop berating ourselves. We stop looking for perfection. We stop seeing perfection where it doesn't exist. We let go of pain. We let go of the past. We slowly let go of the thoughts, a day at a time, until we realize one day (like I did) that they're not there. They don't accompany me. They don't hide out in my mind waiting to come out if the opportunity presents itself. Call me “fat,” call me “ugly,” call me “stupid,” tell me I "shouldn't be eating all the food" that's on my plate... and I'll still be serene and confident in myself, in my recovery, in my body and my way of life. The change has taken place. I'm okay now. It's a beautiful reality.
I can't promise you that during some terrible, sad, or scary time in my life I won’t for a split second remember how I used to cope. But I can promise you this: I'm done with my eating disorder and I'm done with the thoughts, and if one ever does re-appear in my head, it'll be gone and I'll be on my feet no matter what life throws at me, because I've found the secret. I've learned to stand.
When influential folks say that full recovery from an eating disorder is unlikely, I get angry. When they imply that full recovery will happen to one in a million (or some equally incomprehensible number), I get upset. When they focus on all the people who have NOT recovered instead of those who have, I get emotional.
It’s difficult to promote recovery to those struggling with eating disorders when they are constantly being told that the odds are against them. Why bother trying at all? If you are already deemed to be (and doomed to be) a statistic from the start, what’s the point in paying money for treatment/care/counseling or getting support from friends/family/services? Isn’t it all a waste?
The short answer is: NO. Not only is recovery completely possible, it’s also worth every effort. Whether you’re involved with a whole treatment team, simply seeing one therapist, using an alternative support system, or going it alone – recovery is possible, real, and wonderful.
I know this, because I’m a recovered individual myself. It wasn’t always an easy path. I worked hard, used support, created support I didn’t already have, and kept climbing.
Today, I’m happy and healthy in body and mind. I've been fully recovered for some years now. I live my every day, a woman who is transformed from the girl she used to be. I think things start to disappear one by one as we recover. I think the more obvious pieces go first. We get to a healthy weight (whatever that is for us and our respective disorders). We let go of behaviors. We stop berating ourselves. We stop looking for perfection. We stop seeing perfection where it doesn't exist. We let go of pain. We let go of the past. We slowly let go of the thoughts, a day at a time, until we realize one day (like I did) that they're not there. They don't accompany me. They don't hide out in my mind waiting to come out if the opportunity presents itself. Call me “fat,” call me “ugly,” call me “stupid,” tell me I "shouldn't be eating all the food" that's on my plate... and I'll still be serene and confident in myself, in my recovery, in my body and my way of life. The change has taken place. I'm okay now. It's a beautiful reality.
I can't promise you that during some terrible, sad, or scary time in my life I won’t for a split second remember how I used to cope. But I can promise you this: I'm done with my eating disorder and I'm done with the thoughts, and if one ever does re-appear in my head, it'll be gone and I'll be on my feet no matter what life throws at me, because I've found the secret. I've learned to stand.
There have been a few times I've been asked, what are your top reasons in favor of recovery? Or is it worth it? Or more often, how do you know you're recovered?
And this is the answer I always give:
- Because my life doesn't revolve around food, exercise, feelings of hunger, my own image in the mirror, the way my clothes fit, what people say to me regarding appearance or success/failure.
-Because I actually have a life.
-Because when I wake up in the morning I am content, not filled with despair.
-Because I don't have to work at it. It is now natural.
-Because I can help others without being triggered by them.
-Because I live by what I’m writing here.
-Because I like my body.
-Because I even, most of the time, LOVE my body.
-Because I am at peace with issues of my adolescence.
-Because I can eat without over-thinking.
-Because I don't binge or purge or starve myself.
-Because I don't even WANT to binge, purge, or starve myself.
-Because I don't care what the number on a scale says and it used to incredibly define me.
-Because I am a healthy weight.
-Because I appreciate myself instead of hate myself.
-Because I feel free.
I am here in the moment and not afraid to eat, look, live, love. And you can do it too.
The length of time isn't what's important. It can take 3 years or 30 years. The goal is to get to the point where you can say, “I'm free” and mean it. Don't give yourself a deadline. Don't beat yourself up for slip-ups. Just. keep. trying.
Understand my main point: being "recovered" isn't about always being happy 100% of the time—it's about knowing what to do when you're not.
No matter how many cons there are to your dilemma, one big pro outweighs them all: you getting better, you feeling better, you learning to live life again.
Put more faith in yourself than in your eating disorder. Don’t underestimate your power to move forward and stay there. It all starts with you.
(For more inspiring words and encouragement in the recovery department, visit Fighting Anorexia - and remember, once February comes to a close, Fighting Anorexia will be publishing links to every blogger who participated in the Pro-Recovery Project!)
Oh, and one more thing - just a friendly reminder:
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Reasons For Recovery - Anne-Sophie Reinhardt's blog
Part of the blog series by different contributors - today is from Anne-Sophie Reinhardt who started this blog series.
Why should you even care to recover?
When the first thoughts of recovery started to occupy my mind back in late fall 2010, this questions was constantly going through my head. I still saw the life I led as too good to give up.Why should I throw everything away, leave my husband for months and fight against this mysterious beast inside? Why should I give up a body that was so unnoticeable and therefor tolerable in order to gain weight and loathe myself even more?
Why should I change anything if life would always be sad and bleak? I could just go on like this and pretend that I am fine. I was still functioning and I would certainly know when to stop.
Eating disorders might kill others, but my anorexia would never kill me.
Knowing what I know now, I am terrified by these deceptive thoughts that are so horribly dangerous. Had I continued a few months longer on this path of self-destruction, I would have lost my life. I was in a state of confusion, sadness, emptiness and carelessness. My perception of reality was completely distorted.I am glad I woke up just enough to start the process of healing before a disaster might have occurred.
You leave behind all the negativity that has surrounded you for so many years, in my case more than a decade. You give up destructive patterns and life-threatening behaviors and you transform yourself in ways you could have never imagined before.
I know that when you are in the midst of your eating disorder, you feel like nothing makes sense, life is just a series of horrible days, everything seems grey, bleak and hollow. You are, to put it mildly, in hell.
It is hard to imagine anything other than this. It is almost impossible to believe that life can be colorful, that feelings don’t have to hurt, that being healthy is not an unachievable goal, reserved for other, luckier people.
When friends, therapists or nutritionists tell you that your life can turn around, they lie, right? When they want to help you, they actually just want to hurt you. When they share their concern, they just want to make you feel inferior. When they tell you you need to gain weight in order to survive, they only want to fatten you like an animal.
Oh, how I know these thoughts, and how wrong they are. So utterly, utterly wrong.
I wish I had learned sooner that the people around me truly loved me and that they were incredibly scared of this disease that had captured me. I wish I could have cared. I wish I could have seen how rich life could be and how precious every moment is. I wish I could have opened my eyes and my heart to all the beauty surrounding me.
But now, one year into recovery, I have lifted my point of view and what I see is bombastic.
Today I see what everybody around me had been talking about for so long. I feel the vibrant lust for life that others experience and I am, for the first time ever, thrilled and grateful to be alive.Working on myself and letting go off my eating disorder has completely changed every single aspect of my existence.
I feel the hope and the opportunity that each day embodies. I wake up full of energy, excited about the possibilities of the day. I am no longer the bundle of weakness I was a year ago, but full of energy and drive.
I can be spontaneous and make plans without them interfering with my ridiculous workout routine. I am able to drink a cup of my beloved Mocha at Starbucks without my eating disorder reprimanding me or calculating how long I’d have to slave away at the gym in order to burn the calories I consumed.
I am able to enjoy simply sitting on the couch with my husband, cuddling up to him while watching a movie. I love talking to a friend without having a guilty conscience that I am not exercising.
I appreciate my husband giving me a delicious chocolate mini cake for Valentine’s Day without freaking out about the calories and I enjoy every single bite while eating it.
I can be creative again using the space in my mind that used to be taken up by my eating disorder. I started to crawl out of my shell and actually learn to have self-confidence. I started to believe in myself and in the work I do and therefor have been more efficient and productive than ever before. I can even say that I am proud of myself without feeling ashamed.
I feel deeply, intimately and madly in love with myself and my body; a body with curves, imperfections and flaws, but so unique and forever mine. By learning to love the person that I am, I was also able to begin to love my husband on an infinitely deeper level. I am now a much better wife and lover.
I now notice the beauty in so many things that used to mean nothing to me. My taste buds have been in a state of ecstasy in the last year because of all the different, new kinds of food they were allowed to experience.
I learned to express anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, agony or even joy without binging and purging. I don’t feel bad about feeling good about myself. I am no longer paralyzed by fear. I learned to confront it and practiced kicking it in the butt by doing it over and over again.
Problems don’t seem to be unresolvable anymore, they simply are challenges that can be mastered and that provide me with a chance to grow as a person.
Recovery teaches you many things, not only the art of eating regularly. When you recover, you learn life-changing skills that help you in all aspects of your life.
But the most important thing you learn when you heal is to take care of yourself and to rescue yourself from a fate threatening to take your life.
Today, my life is anything but hellish and this can be true for you too. And that is exactly why you should care to recover.
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