Sharing Melissa's blog on family support

Just read Melissa's blog post on the findingmelissa blog site. She shares some valuable information on what specifically families can do to support their loved on during an eating disorder.

Those of us in the trenches know it can be such a hopeless and helpless feeling when it seems there is so little we can DO to help them recover. We need to make a mental shift on what that looks like. They need to do the work and we need to be the cheer squad. Not an easy task when Ed is so tenaciously whispering in their ear.

Here is my comment on Melissa's blog post. Please share your thoughts.

Melissa, this is one of the best lists I've ever seen to spell it out for families on how to effectively support your loved one with an eating disorder. Such concrete things to do:
1. Remind you that you are special
2. Listen when you are scared
3. Reassure you when you have doubts
4. Call you on the phone and help you smile
5. Be there waiting for when you are ready to join the world again

All good things for families to remember. Thank you for digging deep to really put words to what helped you in your recovery. Families feel so helpless and often hopeless. I will share your blog with others.
Thank you!
Becky Henry

Language and Eating Disorders

This Saturday at our Moving Mountains 4 Health Continuing Education Course we'll be talking about moving the weight paradigm from dread and failure to balance and health.

I have found it quite amazing in all the listening I've done with people impacted by eating disorders to hear the little statements that pushed them over the edge into an eating disorder. Now, these people may already be predisposed to an eating disorder so it isn't the statement that gave them the illness. I want to be clear about that. Many in the field call these things, "triggering" language. As the statements or questions can "trigger" both the person already suffering from an eating disorder or those who are predisposed and headed that way.

One of the stories I wrote for my book is about a young woman named Heather, her real name is used in the book, who was preparing for prom. When she tried on her dress a week before prom for her boyfriend, she remembers him saying, "Yeah, you'll look good, but you'd look great if you lost ten pounds." Now, that is an extreme example, I think - what are some of your stories that you have heard?

Sometimes the comments are made by health care providers, how about this example: A woman who is 5'4" and 170 pounds says to her MD, "I have to lose weight!" And the MD says, "I'm glad to hear you say that. Your BMI is 29 and weight loss is recommended for people with a BMI over 25" Now, what would you be thinking/feeling if your doctor said that? Many of us would go right into shame and despair. Not to mention the stress in thinking about what to do. How would it be if your doctor said this instead, "Let's talk about how you are taking care of yourself before we assume what is next. Why don't you tell me about your eating and fitness habits?" I think I would feel like my doc wanted to help me and was really listening to what I might need to be healthy.

I'm so excited to get to share some practice of using language to open up clients/students/patients on Saturday with health care providers and health educators. I hope to help people avoid situations like this one: A mom brought her daughter who had an eating disorder to the emergency room for something completely unrelated. When the social worker walked into the little room looking at the girl's chart that stated that this girl had an eating disorder, she looked the girl up and down and promptly said, "You don't look like you have an eating disorder." This mother shared with me that the simple statement made by the social worker set her daughter's eating disorder recovery back by about a year.

We'll talk more about language, I'd love to hear your stories of how language has impacted your eating disorder.

Until next time, remember - You can't tell if someone has an eating disorder by looking at them. These deadly illnesses affect people of all shapes, sizes, colors, sexes and religions - frighteningly equal opportunity.

No diets

Here we are already - January 2010! How did this happen so fast? I hope you have all been having wonderful holiday celebrations with friends and family. I have enjoyed spending lots of time with people I enjoy and don't get to see all that often. So much of those fun times center around food. It is always interesting to hear the comments people make about food, their bodies and other's bodies. Somehow it's as if that is okay to do - make comments about other's bodies that is. Most who know me know by now that if they feel inclined to say something about the condition of their body or that of someone else that I will say something about body acceptance.

I try not to be a pain so I gently provide an "educational opportunity" to open someone's eyes to the possibility that we are all looking the way we were made to look. What a wonderful world it would be if none of us judged ourselves or others - about how we look or anything else.

Most of you probably have realized I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions as I think they set us up for failure and shame. That being said, the only new goals I have here at the dawn of a new year and a new decade (thank goodness) are to avoid seeing all the advertisements for diets and "new" weight loss schemes as well as accepting myself and others the way we are.

I wish for you a joyful and accepting decade.

Eating Disorders and the Holidays

Families living with an eating disorder can find the holidays extra challenging with all the focus on food. There are so many different stresses and foods that can be frightening for people facing eating disorders.

Last night I got to have a conversation with Peter McClellan on his radio show 401k Latte about eating disorders at the holidays. We talked about the huge spreads of food that can be overwhelming and stress inducing. Take a listen: http://www.kkmslive.com/MP3/PM_12_23_09.mp3

Peter asked some great questions to open up the conversation about how both parents and health care providers can support someone with an eating disorder. A few things we talked about were:

* As family member; put on your oxygen mask first-make a Top Ten list and do 1 each day
* Family members can help by: Learning to let go with love
* Don't make comments about other people's bodies
* Low fat - Low Calorie diets backfire - they don't work
* Language from health care providers is important - telling patients to lose weight not only doesn't help - it hurts.
* Health care providers can ask open ended questions about what a patient's health care goals are can enroll the patient in the process of making healthy choices.
* Health Care providers can attend: movingmountains4health.com to learn more
* The book: Just Tell Her to Stop can be pre-ordered at: www.hopenetwork.info
* Weight-ism is alive and well and needs to be addressed
* People can be health at many different sizes
* Focus on overall health to achieve your health goals
* Insurance and eating disorders coverage - Academy for Eating Disorders works for mental health parity
* Book on family stories of living with eating disorders website will be live in a couple weeks: JustTellHerToStop.com
* I received the Braveheart Award for living life with Passion and Inspiration
* College professors can order the book to add to their curriculum
* Pharmaceutical companies are invited to purchase the books to donate to eating disorders treatment centers.

I welcome your comments on the show. What have you heard from your health care provider that has backfired for you? What comments have you found helpful while recovering from an eating disorder?

I hope you will focus on what you are grateful for this holiday season and have peace.

How helpful is "War on Obesity?"

After interviewing a number of larger people for my book: Just Tell Her To Stop; Stories of Families Surviving Eating Disorders, I have seen close up and personal how incredibly unhelpful and downright damaging anti-obesity statements can be for people.

I have heard stories of people being shamed for being "overweight" all in the name of intending to help them be healthier. Well, it backfires.

Here is one such short story. A woman I spoke with went to the doctor for a physical and in the process was told, "You need to lose 70 pounds." What happened next was a stress response (as I have learned from my brilliant Registered Dietician friend Michele Gorman) that sent her not to the gym but instead across the street for a doughnut.

What can we do differently as people who are trying to help others to achieve health? I can tell you that from what I have learned, it is not shaming people. There are other behavioral approaches to achieve health and sometimes it may not have anything to do with weight. What a concept.

That is what drew me to collaborate with a small coalition of health care providers to share a new paradigm for healthy body image, eating, fitness and weight. Check out the continuing ed program being held in Minneapolis Jan 16th, 2010: www.movingmountains4health.eventbrite.com


Here is the latest from the Association for Size Diversity & Health:

(PRWEB) December 16, 2009 -- The Association for Size Diversity and Health joins national and international eating disorders organizations in urging school administrators, employers and health policy makers to focus on health rather than weight in all populations.

"We offer as a resource in this shift the principles and science behind Health At Every Size that are available at our website, www.sizediversityandhealth.org,"; ASDAH president Deb Lemire said.

The weight-neutral Health At Every Size (HAES) movement calls for size acceptance, an end to weight discrimination, and lessening of the cultural obsession with weight loss and thinness.

Last week the Academy for Eating Disorders, Binge Eating Disorder Association, Eating Disorders Coalition, International Association for Eating Disorders Professionals and National Eating Disorders Association issued an unprecedented joint press release expressing concern that strategies in the global "war on obesity" fuel weight prejudice and contribute to negative self-esteem, body dissatisfaction and eating-disordered behavior. Their concern aligns with ASDAH's position that weight-focused health messages and practices harm the health of people of all sizes by increasing body shame, eating-disordered behavior, and health care avoidance, and by failing to address the health needs of people of all sizes.

ASDAH is an international organization composed of health professionals, scientists and activist committed to promoting all aspects of health and well-being for all populations. Its basic principles of Health At Every Size (http://www.sizediversityandhealth.org/content.asp?id=76) recognize the multidimensionality of health and well-being and promote balanced eating and enjoyable physical activity, rather than eating or exercise focused on weight loss.

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Source : PRWeb

Moving the Weight Paradigm from Dread and Failure to Balance and Health

Today I am putting finishing touches on my presentation for the January 16th CE course for health care providers. If you are looking for more information on helping your patients with weight issues come and check out this course and get your CE credits!

We hope you will take advantage of this important continuing education opportunity.

This 1-day workshop is approved for 7 CEUs for most healthcare and mental health professionals
Moving the Weight Paradigm from Dread and Failure to Balance and Health - Promoting Healthy Body Image, Eating, Fitness, and Weight
Training healthcare providers, mental health therapists, dietary specialists, educators, administrators, and legislators to respond more effectively to the full spectrum of eating and weight concerns.
For more information, read on, or go to: http://www.movingmountains4health.com
To register, click on this link: http://movingmountains4health.eventbrite.com

Please forward to anyone who might find this of interest.

Date: Saturday, January 16, 2010—9:00 AM - 5:00 PM Lunch Included
Location: Zurah Shrine Center, 2540 Park Avenue, Minneapolis, MN 55404
Why attend?

You cannot solve problems using the same thinking that created them. (Albert Einstein)

Whether for appearance or health, worry about weight affects the lives of most people today, and at ever younger ages. Healthcare providers, therapists, dieticians, educators and legislators are increasingly called upon to respond, give advice, or develop policies in regard to weight, even as top health authorities are uncertain about the best way to do so. With eating disorders on the one hand and a rising rate of obesity on the other, it is critical that those in positions of influence and authority understand the complex issues involved to avoid adding to the problem. In turn they must become skilled, confident, and effective in discussing weight in ways that do not inadvertently promote body dissatisfaction or shame, disordered eating, or complacency about eating and fitness. Moving Mountains 4 Health informs and trains professionals in a universal, evidence-based approach that may be used with confidence to promote the attitudes and behaviors needed for positive body image, wholesome lifestyle habits, and healthy weight, regardless of size.

What will you learn?
An effective, evidence-based model for healthy body image, eating, fitness and weight: Hear an overview of the risk factors underlying the full spectrum of body image and weight concerns today. Take away a new model for prevention and intervention and the language to deliver it that is applicable to all ages.

How the STRESS RESPONSE (including worry about weight) contributes to problems, and skills to intervene: Identify how stress relates to appetite, eating, physical activity and hormonal imbalances that contribute to weight problems. Learn evidence-based methods for maintaining balance in the face of stress, versus turning to self-sabotaging behaviors.
Teaching how (versus what) to eat: the feeding relationship and health: Review development and feeding from infancy through adolescence and how worrying about weight distorts the feeding relationship with far-reaching consequences. Learn to teach “Feeding Competency 101.”

Identifying, differentiating and referring eating disorders across the spectrum: Gain tools for effectively identifying disordered eating and eating disorders, as well as communicating with patients and their families about medical care and referral for specialized treatment.
How to use the new paradigm in your practice to support health as a value versus size as a goal: Promotion of health-supporting behaviors and balance versus size or weight is an evidence-based approach that reduces stress, eliminates self-sabotaging efforts, and gives everyone an equal opportunity to succeed.

Who is Moving Mountains 4 Health?
Moving Mountains 4 Health is a coalition of professionals who are passionate about promoting healthy body image, eating, fitness and weight.

Michele Gorman, MS, RD, LD is an award winning dietitian and president of the Minnesota Dietetics Association.
Kathy Kater LICSW is a psychotherapist, author of Healthy Body Image, and a nationally known authority on body image, eating and weight issues.

Katja Rowell MD is a family doctor turned childhood feeding expert.

Becky Henry CPPC is an eating disorders coach, parent and author of an upcoming book for families living with eating disorders.

Want CEU's for learning more about weight issues?

You're Invited...

Training health professionals, educators and administrators to talk effectively with patients, clients, students and their families about weight.
Title: Moving the Weight Paradigm from Dread and Failure to Balance and Health: Promoting Healthy Body Image, Eating, Fitness and Weight
Presenters: Kathy Kater LICSW; Michele Gorman MS RD LD; Becky Henry CPCC; Katja Rowell MD
When: Saturday, January 16; 9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
Conference Information: MovingMountains4health.com and Registration http://movingmountains4health.eventbrite.com/